Gym Etiquette

As in, I have none as of late. Of course, most of the time when I'm at the gym, I'm alone. Here are my most recent peccadilloes. Since I've been sick, I've avoided the gym like the plague. I've had to, because I can barely take three breathes before I cough like I've got consumption. Deep, chest-rattling coughs that hurt to perform and hurt to behold. I am officially a huge fan of Ricola.

But now that I must kick my own ass into shape, I've returned to the gym. Yesterday wasn't so bad, in the sense that there was a House marathon on TV, so I could distract myself from the innate knowledge that I was pedalling for thirty minutes in what felt like an uphill direction the entire time. However, the coughing continued. Now people, there's only so much I can do to cover my mouth when I'm coughing that hard and trying to catch my breath and maintain my balance on the bike (not as easy as you'd think when coughing) and not become incontinent. (Sorry for the TMI.) I wiped down the bike with my towel when I was done, but I don't know how much good that did.

Today I finally got around to loading my new mp3 player with fun-filled songs to know and sing along with. And again, I was alone in the gym, singing, coughing, and biking. If this next part isn't true, I'm going to pretend it is: Singing along with the music while biking burns more calories. Doing the 1-2-3 punch of biking, singing, and coughing eviscerates calories. I forgot to wipe down the bike. Apologies to the person who rides after me. But what could I do? I had to sing along with Beyonce...