Disagreements

Last night Momma thought it would be a good idea to suss out my future plans. Her way of doing this was to ask me if I'm moving to be with my boy. I answered as honestly as I could. "Maybe, it's within the realm of possibilities, but it won't be anytime soon."

She then decided to explain to me that he's not worth me and I shouldn't waste any more time with him. Ummm...isn't that a decision I get to make? That's pretty much what I told her. I also pointed out that she doesn't get a vote in whom I decide to spend my time with. She told me that she had witnessed how excited I was about my date and how disappointed I was that he disappeared. (I love it when I get a witness to things that humiliate me. Even more so when it's a family member, considering that my family takes a special joy in shoving pain in people's faces.) See, people, now, with some time and distance (and some information about the date that I didn't previously have), I feel like I dodged a bullet there. Also, anyone who just falls off the map when it comes to interaction with me is probably not someone I want to keep around. That's just a little too much emotional blackmail to me.

Speeeeaking of emotional blackmail, Momma decided to tell me that if I do move, she might just go back to my father. OK, I said. That's your choice. But people, she does NOT get to blame that decision on me. NOT. AT. ALL. I can't carry her mental well-being along with my own. I'm not taking any responsibility for what she does with her life.

She thought it then a good idea to lay into me about my current unemployment. That's about the time I just stopped speaking to her.

Last night was one of the first times that it occurred to me that everything is not, in fact, my father's fault. And to be honest, it was tempting to tell her to just leave.