Why I Don't Drink Coffee

Unlike apparently 80% of the population, I do not drink coffee. I don't like coffee, and I don't understand why other people do.

I mean, aside from mixers in alcoholic drinks, what other beverage out there causes people to change its flavor from the get-go? I know very few people who drink black coffee. There's creamers, sugars, pseudo-sugars, milk, whatever. If you don't like the taste of what you're drinking, why drink it?

I'm also not a big fan of the smell of coffee. Last week I had to go to Starbucks (ack!) for my sister. She made me order this: Venti skinny cinnamon dolce latte nonfat milk no whip no foam. I felt like I was speaking Latin. Hipster Latin. For the next few days, my car reeked of that mess.

Yup, I'm sticking to my insatiable Diet Mt. Dew addiction. Good caffeine, good taste.