I Am A Jerk

This is so hard for me. It's a tricky difference between having my mother here with me, and having to care for her.

If you don't know, let me run through a version of my day.

5am - wake up, because she might need my help to get to the bathroom and back. If she can do it herself, hell, I'm still awake just in case.

6am - hear my phone ring, because that's Momma's and my safety net. If she's not actually calling, I can still hear it. Which means I wake up.

(Also: watching Angel.)

7am - wake up, because I don't know what will happen or where I'm needed. Check in. Pray, and pray, and pray that she's asleep so I might get another hour.

7am - switch to The West Wing. Nap. Wake up. Nap.

10am - Momma gets herself out. Mind you, she's been awake for a while and is bitter that that stays back in the (my) bedroom for that long.

10:10am - I ask what she wants for breakfast. She tosses on her hairshirt. Yet, I get her food.

10:15 - 1 or 2 - try to be nice.

2-3: Pray that she wants to nap. At this point, generally, no, which means we're going to have problems as it relates to TiVo.

4-5: I make her a version of what would be a dinner. She finally wants a nap. I celebrate, because, really people, I need a break!

6-8: She wakes back up and comes out. By now, I'm remembering just how much I like to be alone. I am also waiting for (or dialing) my calls.

8-10: I'm getting her down for bed. Generally, it's closer to 10 than 8.

10-1am: This is my free time. I can catch up with friends and my boy.

If this is/was your life, than tell me about it. If you feel judgmental, then fuck you. This is my life every single day.

Also: I get really tired about hearing that I need to work more to get a job. Really? Are you planning to come over to do my work? (Which I will not expound upon because it's not my business.)