There's a strong chance that the hospital will release Momma to my care today. Does the hospital even consider what a bad idea this is? She had the surgery on Thursday afternoon, and the folks at the hospital think it's a good idea to send her to me? I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm petrified that I'm going to hurt her.
So this new chapter begins. You will read quite a bit about what it's like to take care of a recuperating Momma. You will read about my mistakes (legion) and my successes (few). I will be brutally honest about how all this feels and how her recovery goes.
You will read my complaints about having to do this. You will occasionally think that I'm a completely selfish bitch when I complain. That's fine. Just remember that whatever you think of me, I have already thought of it. I know that I can be selfish and immature and ungrateful.
What I will do is the best I can. I will talk to you because I really don't have anyone else who will listen to me without telling me that I'm doing a great job and it'll all be OK. From this side, I feel like an abject failure already and I think that I will never again have my life back. This infuriates me. I just got my life started and now it's on hold again.
But let's be clear. I don't want Momma to return to her house and her husband. I know I can take better care of her here. I know she feels safe here, and that feeling is important to her recovery. I want nothing more than for Momma to be happy and healthy.
It's bound to be a rocky journey.
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