When I Knew I Was Finally A Woman

There are rites of passage through which all must go. One of those is realizing that you're a real wo/man. This is my story...

My mother is quite possibly the most literate person east of the Mississippi. My folks have a 6-bedroom house (for the 2 of them; I better inherit that shit), of which at least 3 are pure libraries. You can't turn around without running into something else to read. I inherited this reading bug from her. (To her great sadness, I was the only one.) Seriously, as a kid, I would read cereal boxes over and over again at breakfast, just to get my fix.

As a result, she and I would play Scrabble. A lot. Because that's how we roll. Also, she generally hates board games, and also would not let me win at anything just 'cos I was little. She's not one to baby your sweet little ego. So, I learned to be an unbelievably sore loser, as how can any 15-year-old hope to compare with the queen of intellectual curiousity (as applied to literacy)?

But one day, my time finally came. I can't remember how old I was anymore. Most likely I was in my mid-to-late 20s, probably while I was working on degree number 3. (You collect whatever you collect, I collect college degrees.) On that fateful day, I finally beat my mother at Scrabble. And I didn't just beat her, I held her out the window by her ankles until she finally agreed that I was the master, and she was now only a redundant Teacher.

And that's how I became a woman.