Dream Guys

For the past few weeks, I've been having vivid dreams about guys I either used to date, or ones I pointlessly obsessed over for a time. They've all been farewell dreams, where I get to have a final conversation with each one and determine why it wouldn't work, why it won't work, and then feel better for having had the dreams. I've met with my ex-fiance and a pointless crush in the past week.

There's been a certain level on comfort in these interactions. I've been able to wrestle out the last vestiges of emotion I've kept for these guys. I've wondered why I've been having these dreams as well. My best theory is that as I attach more and more to my boy, I'm getting rid of others who might allow me to mess up what is, and I hope will continue to be, a strong relationship.

Then, of course, comes last night. Last night I dreamed about Jim. Why, I don't know, but in this dreams things were different. I dreamed I was at a party with him and we got separated. As I walked over the hills and valleys that seem to show up in all my dreams, I kept walking past girls that I knew. I finally made it to a big room, where all the guys where. They were all guys I (ostensibly) knew, and I spent the whole time just calling Jim's name, and never found him.

Keep your fingers crossed that this isn't a portent of things to come.