Options

[Aside: Really, computer cache, did you think I would ever choose to blog on MySpace before el Blogo? Learn from your mistake.]

Options. It's been so long since I've had any, and it's a heady feeling to think that I might have some now. Options about careers, homes, glorious diamonds, boys...

The downside to having options is that instead of following the path that seemed the most like me, I now have to examine what's important to me. Some things are simple; others, much more complex. It's these complexities that sometimes make me feel guilty. Should I want security (of the financial sort) more than I want adventure? Am I wrong for craving materials things from life? Is there a balance?

Sometimes, the adventure v. security debate that's raging in my head has more to do with the people I allow into my life - the ones I get close to. There's this: It's comforting to know that someone is attached to you, and shows it in little ways. It's harder to handle the ups and downs of a more volatile relationship. Or is that relationship even volatile at all? Do I expect too much?

I do know this - I'm excited for the possibilities.