Must Be

Aware or something. I've been awake for about 24-ish hours, and I've got a lot in me. I just re-read my last two posts. They were probably more honest than I've been in a while.

OK, let's just go balls-out: I want to pass the bar, but only so I can do the work I've been trained to do. I'm sick unto death of the shit they make us study.

If I don't pass, I probably won't take it again.

Since I know you read this, I can't be really honest. I want to be, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the judgment, of actually having to re-read these words.

I think I'm going to have to leave some of what I want to the future.