Today, as I danced around and alphabetized (I have a tough job) I delighted in bad radio music. Oh, there were so many bad favorites to pick from, but for you, dear readers, I picked my fave bad song:
Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard.
The glory of this song has lasted me the (almost) 20 years it's been out there. When I first heard its glory, I was a young girl of 14 or so, and was in the midst of my goth phase. Fortunately, one of my goth-kins was a girl named Shannon, who taught us all the wonder that was popular and incredibly bad music of the time. In our midst of moping to the Smiths and dreaming with Robert Smith, she came balleting in with It Takes Two by Rob Base and DJ Something. Can't remember.
Oh, the skies opened. When I got home that night, and turned on the MTV countdown, the glory of DL came on. From that day on, each time I saw the video, I had to watch the TV in the family room and run into my parents' bedroom, to tune in as well. For stereo effect, of course. Those were brilliant times, and made me even more sarcastic than I thought I could ever be.
Years later, in my 20s, as I pursued the absolute wrong man, one of my rivals was a girl who wore jeans with shredding at the knees to the club. I instantly dubbed her Def Leppard. Didn't do any good for my pursuit, but it made me feel good at the time.
Today, during the dancing and alphabetizing, it came back to me. Ahhhh, Def Leppard. All the things you've done for me. Made the day glorious, and I'm sure entertained the hell out of my boss and co-worker as they got to watch me shimmy and sing.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Stare Decisis
One of my worst classes in law school was constitutional law. I even bombed it on the bar. I don't know that for sure, but I do know that I guessed at every conlaw MBE question the bar examiners threw my way.
This time around, I'm trying a new way to learn it, by reading the cases. I found a nifty little website that summarizes cases for me, which makes it WAYYYY easier to figure out the issues and the law that was created from the cases. I have trouble reading the entire decisions because 1) they're really long and 2) I get sidetracked about the supposed issue when I read the decisions.
What I've been thinking about is stare decisis. Stare decisis essentially means that judges and justices give deference to cases heard prior to the one at hand. The judges aren't bound to the precedents, but they do often rule in the way that the prior case was decided.
I wonder, why? Just because someone else made a decision before you, why give that decision so much power? Who's to say that John Marshall or Benjamin Cordozo were any smarter about the issues than, say, Justice O'Connor (I miss you!!) or even Justice Scalia? Or me? I don't see the point. One could argue that the general issue may have been understood better in the context of those times, but that's just crap. (And I know Scalia would agree with me, which makes me shiver.)
I mean, look at the terrible decisions made during slavery, or during the establishment of many labor laws. In 2008, we look at those cases as judicial disaster.
I hope that one day we look at the cases surrounding the death penalty and think that they are just as awful as Dred Scott.
This time around, I'm trying a new way to learn it, by reading the cases. I found a nifty little website that summarizes cases for me, which makes it WAYYYY easier to figure out the issues and the law that was created from the cases. I have trouble reading the entire decisions because 1) they're really long and 2) I get sidetracked about the supposed issue when I read the decisions.
What I've been thinking about is stare decisis. Stare decisis essentially means that judges and justices give deference to cases heard prior to the one at hand. The judges aren't bound to the precedents, but they do often rule in the way that the prior case was decided.
I wonder, why? Just because someone else made a decision before you, why give that decision so much power? Who's to say that John Marshall or Benjamin Cordozo were any smarter about the issues than, say, Justice O'Connor (I miss you!!) or even Justice Scalia? Or me? I don't see the point. One could argue that the general issue may have been understood better in the context of those times, but that's just crap. (And I know Scalia would agree with me, which makes me shiver.)
I mean, look at the terrible decisions made during slavery, or during the establishment of many labor laws. In 2008, we look at those cases as judicial disaster.
I hope that one day we look at the cases surrounding the death penalty and think that they are just as awful as Dred Scott.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Calm Day
It's been a decent day. Today, driving home, it was raining so hard that I ducked in my car, because I was afraid that the windshield wouldn't protect me.
I've just been working hard on my goals, which for now are: getting in better shape and studying for the bar.
That's about it. If there's more, you are bound to know it.
I've just been working hard on my goals, which for now are: getting in better shape and studying for the bar.
That's about it. If there's more, you are bound to know it.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Books!!
Today has been productive, so I think it's OK to laze about a bit now. I got to the folks, got laundry done (and managed to leave all my pants over there, tomorrow I ought to look cute for work). Mom and I went to Barnes and Noble for May book-fest. We managed to spend more than some spend for rent on books, and then on our way out, Mom pointed at one last book. I couldn't believe which one it was...
The Fire Cat!!! That was my absolute favorite children's book. I had it memorized, I drove Mom to distraction to read it to me "one more time", and when I opened it, I couldn't believe that I remembered the story. So now I have a copy, and a couple of lucky others will receive their copies soon.
It's so exciting because it's been out of print forever. W. somehow managed to score a copy for me a few years ago, but some dipshit in Cleveland stole it. A lot of my mail was stolen there. I don't miss my mail being stolen. So, as always, thank you W. for getting it for me!! And thank you, Mom, for getting it into my hands!!
The Fire Cat!!! That was my absolute favorite children's book. I had it memorized, I drove Mom to distraction to read it to me "one more time", and when I opened it, I couldn't believe that I remembered the story. So now I have a copy, and a couple of lucky others will receive their copies soon.
It's so exciting because it's been out of print forever. W. somehow managed to score a copy for me a few years ago, but some dipshit in Cleveland stole it. A lot of my mail was stolen there. I don't miss my mail being stolen. So, as always, thank you W. for getting it for me!! And thank you, Mom, for getting it into my hands!!
Friday, May 23, 2008
Mistake?
It's entirely possible that I made a mistake today. I have (had?) plans for this evening. They are creative plans, and plans that I would only make with this one person. However, to make this work, I had to send an email today. Now, in the past week-ish, I've been fulfilling my obligations. A conversation last night made me question. So today, I tried, I wrote, I did my best, but I couldn't send the email that was required of me. One, where I work, employers block anything that might be personal. Two, I know they read my email. So I just couldn't do it.
So, have I ruined my plans? Time shall tell, and my desire to keep those plans change as well.
Damnit! I was so much happier in the past week. Now it feels like everything has consequences.
So, have I ruined my plans? Time shall tell, and my desire to keep those plans change as well.
Damnit! I was so much happier in the past week. Now it feels like everything has consequences.
The Irresistible Impulse Test
I always thought that my wanting to keep up with people I used to know, used to date, barely knew, kinda heard of was weird, and that no one else did that. I would talk to my current friends about wanting to catch up on my past friends, and they would listen, but I never heard anyone say that they did it too. So I carried on, wondering what the people I knew were doing now, and just knowing that I was weird.
I am definitely not weird - in this particular respect. It seems like we all do this, we're all curious, that the end of a relationship doesn't end the caring. I think about this as I catch up with people, when I decide who to search for on Facebook and MySpace. I think when I get a comment on my blog.
Actually, I'm doing a service. I'm living a little more out loud, so I'm easier to find. I suffer no delusions that I'm being looked for quite a bit; I just think that if I do an occasional search for someone I used to know, maybe someone who used to know me does the same.
B. says I talk too much about Facebook and MySpace. Never fear, I'm sure the bloom will leave
this rose soon as well. Be patient.
I am definitely not weird - in this particular respect. It seems like we all do this, we're all curious, that the end of a relationship doesn't end the caring. I think about this as I catch up with people, when I decide who to search for on Facebook and MySpace. I think when I get a comment on my blog.
Actually, I'm doing a service. I'm living a little more out loud, so I'm easier to find. I suffer no delusions that I'm being looked for quite a bit; I just think that if I do an occasional search for someone I used to know, maybe someone who used to know me does the same.
B. says I talk too much about Facebook and MySpace. Never fear, I'm sure the bloom will leave
this rose soon as well. Be patient.
Thoughts
I just don't know where I am right now. I thought I had it, but I just can't say.
I'm grateful to have a day away from my boss. I need the breather.
I'm awake because I'm waiting for a man that I'm not sure is right. Right in a lot of ways, right in the ways I want as well.
I'm going to bitch as much tomorrow when I'm just as exhausted.
I don't get all of this.
Perhaps I'm just dumb, perhaps I try too hard sometimes.
I don't want my heart broken again. Or any of the parts of me that have been gone for a few years.
So, how long do I wait? Am I stupid for waiting? Probably. But the result is so much better than the not even trying. The super, extra-Cosmo girl just never existed.
I'm thrown. I'll be OK, if only because I have no choice.
(He said, you call too often. Fuck!)
I'm grateful to have a day away from my boss. I need the breather.
I'm awake because I'm waiting for a man that I'm not sure is right. Right in a lot of ways, right in the ways I want as well.
I'm going to bitch as much tomorrow when I'm just as exhausted.
I don't get all of this.
Perhaps I'm just dumb, perhaps I try too hard sometimes.
I don't want my heart broken again. Or any of the parts of me that have been gone for a few years.
So, how long do I wait? Am I stupid for waiting? Probably. But the result is so much better than the not even trying. The super, extra-Cosmo girl just never existed.
I'm thrown. I'll be OK, if only because I have no choice.
(He said, you call too often. Fuck!)
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Suddenly Feel
I suddenly feel overprotective. My baby cousin graduates from high school tomorrow - congratulations girl!! But I wish I could save her from all that's going to come. She's going to have a great time in college - she's cool, she's smart, she's gorgeous.
Damn, for the first time ever, I feel like a parent. I trust her though. She's got a good head on her shoulders.
I can just remember her when she was so little, when we'd hang out on my driveway and draw with sidewalk chalk. But that's not her anymore, and I can remember being reminisced about so much, so I won't go on.
Remember the posts where I worried about honesty? Yeah, I wonder if I should worry again, if only because I know she knows this blog exists.
Damn, for the first time ever, I feel like a parent. I trust her though. She's got a good head on her shoulders.
I can just remember her when she was so little, when we'd hang out on my driveway and draw with sidewalk chalk. But that's not her anymore, and I can remember being reminisced about so much, so I won't go on.
Remember the posts where I worried about honesty? Yeah, I wonder if I should worry again, if only because I know she knows this blog exists.
A Reminder
This is a reminder to myself to get some damn sleep!! Today was the longest, fastest, weirdest day in a while. My boss was on fire! to get a loan closed, which meant I should have been on fire! as well. Unfortunately, I was still asleep when I drove to work, and it only occurred to me to wake up at about 10:30. In my mind, I was enjoying a blissful shower, just taking my time, and then leisurely headed out for my day. In reality, it was almost 11, my boss was almost screaming, and the loan seemed doomed. She was supposed to be in Birmingham for a meeting, a point that she got across about every 15 minutes.
Luckily, by 3, the loan was ready to go, she left, and the powder keg of an office became a giggle fest between my coworker and me.
I bet I'll be in bed by 7. The upshot was, every minute I stayed up too late was worth the price I paid today. Hell, any night like that is worth the price. I look forward to more nights.
Luckily, by 3, the loan was ready to go, she left, and the powder keg of an office became a giggle fest between my coworker and me.
I bet I'll be in bed by 7. The upshot was, every minute I stayed up too late was worth the price I paid today. Hell, any night like that is worth the price. I look forward to more nights.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I Wonder...
Because I just did a count on my Facebook profile, and I wanted to know what the ratio of boys v. girls was. So, I've got 20 boy friends and 9 girl friends. I always thought I was a tomboy, but now this feels like recognition.
Otherwise, all is well. Not too much here, except that I can't get enough law into my head.
Otherwise, all is well. Not too much here, except that I can't get enough law into my head.
Monday, May 19, 2008
An Addition To "No..."
Ummm.. in the third paragraph of that blog, I made a mistake. I should have been more careful, but somehow in that moment I got mixed up. The thing is, I was talking about two different men. I got confused because of my emotions, and how sometimes emotions spill from one person to another. They are two very different men. I have two very different expectations from them.
Hell - maybe not "very". But definitely in this reference. The fact that I loved R. at one point in my life should not spill over into my interest with the other man.
I thought that was clear when I was writing. Maybe, not so much.
PS - This is not a reaction to comments, this is me giving a fresh eye on my own writing.
Hell - maybe not "very". But definitely in this reference. The fact that I loved R. at one point in my life should not spill over into my interest with the other man.
I thought that was clear when I was writing. Maybe, not so much.
PS - This is not a reaction to comments, this is me giving a fresh eye on my own writing.
Rewards
After last week's kerfuffle to get all the marketing materials out, I got my just desserts (and I don't care what those damn attorneys say, dessert has 2 esses and not one. One ess equals a sandy, sandy place.) Anyway, I earned myself 1 day off with pay. For a temp, this is pretty rockin'. I told my boss I'd use it during the bar exam. It will help to know that at least for one day, I'm getting paid for that torture. And she, bless her heart, asked me not to take it this Thursday or Friday, because she'll be out of town.
Sometimes I really like working there.
Sometimes I really like working there.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
The Strangest List
I was looking at my friend lists on Facebook and MySpace. It's hard to imagine a more eclectic list of people in one place. There's people I know from high school, undergrad, and law school. It's almost like watching "This Is Your Life". It makes me wonder...
As I look at each person, I have either a specific memory or a specific emotion set with each one. I wonder how they all remember me. I don't really have any bad thoughts about anybody. I know to some who have been gracious enough to add me, I have done bad things to them. I have hurt them in some way. Some on my list have done bad things to me. Yet, each person is important because s/he taught me something else I needed to know about life and about myself.
Wow, that's enough wisdom for a Sunday afternoon. I've going for an adult beverage and a cigarette. Plus, I have (potential) plans for a lovely evening, and I want to get ready.
As I look at each person, I have either a specific memory or a specific emotion set with each one. I wonder how they all remember me. I don't really have any bad thoughts about anybody. I know to some who have been gracious enough to add me, I have done bad things to them. I have hurt them in some way. Some on my list have done bad things to me. Yet, each person is important because s/he taught me something else I needed to know about life and about myself.
Wow, that's enough wisdom for a Sunday afternoon. I've going for an adult beverage and a cigarette. Plus, I have (potential) plans for a lovely evening, and I want to get ready.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
I Re-Read
All of my blogs, and I had a lot of reactions! There were some post where I laughed out loud. It seems I've gotten better, and stronger when it comes to this.
I also think I might be just as honest...
I also think I might be just as honest...
Must Be
Aware or something. I've been awake for about 24-ish hours, and I've got a lot in me. I just re-read my last two posts. They were probably more honest than I've been in a while.
OK, let's just go balls-out: I want to pass the bar, but only so I can do the work I've been trained to do. I'm sick unto death of the shit they make us study.
If I don't pass, I probably won't take it again.
Since I know you read this, I can't be really honest. I want to be, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the judgment, of actually having to re-read these words.
I think I'm going to have to leave some of what I want to the future.
OK, let's just go balls-out: I want to pass the bar, but only so I can do the work I've been trained to do. I'm sick unto death of the shit they make us study.
If I don't pass, I probably won't take it again.
Since I know you read this, I can't be really honest. I want to be, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the judgment, of actually having to re-read these words.
I think I'm going to have to leave some of what I want to the future.
Should I
Be honest? I mentioned before about getting a new blog, an anonymous one, where I felt freer. I think knowing that people actually read this is scaring me. My sister, an old friend... I think I thought that I could control who reads this by telling the few I wanted about its existence. But my brother reads it - sometimes, I guess. My sister tells me that I make her laugh. R, reads this. God only knows about the number of people I've invited on MySpace, since, in my blog there, there's a link.
Maybe that's the freeing part. Maybe I should stop worrying so much and be me. Goodness knows, I gave R. a lot of shit tonight about his armor. Perhaps too quick to judge? I definitely have my fair share. He gave me shit about thinking everything was about me.
God, as much as I'd love, love, luurrrvve to think it's all about me, it's not. (Perhaps I do love the vanity.) However, I did try to hurt R. and his wife's relationship, because I was selfish. Because I wanted him. Not because I wanted him, really, but because at that point I needed to feel more important.
I wish there was a way to apologize to R.'s wife. She definitely deserves it. And wherever you are, C., I'm really sorry. Talking to your husband tonight was not to hurt you. It was just to check in, and probably, affirm myself.
Maybe that's the freeing part. Maybe I should stop worrying so much and be me. Goodness knows, I gave R. a lot of shit tonight about his armor. Perhaps too quick to judge? I definitely have my fair share. He gave me shit about thinking everything was about me.
God, as much as I'd love, love, luurrrvve to think it's all about me, it's not. (Perhaps I do love the vanity.) However, I did try to hurt R. and his wife's relationship, because I was selfish. Because I wanted him. Not because I wanted him, really, but because at that point I needed to feel more important.
I wish there was a way to apologize to R.'s wife. She definitely deserves it. And wherever you are, C., I'm really sorry. Talking to your husband tonight was not to hurt you. It was just to check in, and probably, affirm myself.
No...
I do not want you, updated Winamp. I do not want anything updated. Lately, the recent truth is harder than the memories. I like the memories. I feel stronger.
Tonight I found that an old friend, R., actually reads this mess. I gave him crap for not commenting. I thought the most interesting part was when I asked him how he found this, and he couldn't answer. (Yeah, that one's for you.)
OK, pure honesty - I loved R. at one point. Now I love that he's a family man, a good man. I love the man who gave me the giddiness last night. I don't care if he loves me the same, because he makes me happy just by being himself. Also, I know that he loves me - probably not in the traditional way, but just in the way I like now.
However - are these two the same? I know it's every 10 years that I contact R. I hate that it seems to disrupt his life. I love that it disrupts his life. Despite his tone - I just can't let him go.
I don't want him anymore - but I love the feeling that I get when I talk to him. He's my link to being a teenager, and not so careful, and not so afraid. I love that feeling of freedom. I guess I just use him. That's OK - being used for a positive end doesn't hurt.
And I can't get the Stephen "Tin Tin" Duffy song out of my mind. It's kind of my theme song for now.
I'm restless. And I don't know when I'll get the relief I need.
Tonight I found that an old friend, R., actually reads this mess. I gave him crap for not commenting. I thought the most interesting part was when I asked him how he found this, and he couldn't answer. (Yeah, that one's for you.)
OK, pure honesty - I loved R. at one point. Now I love that he's a family man, a good man. I love the man who gave me the giddiness last night. I don't care if he loves me the same, because he makes me happy just by being himself. Also, I know that he loves me - probably not in the traditional way, but just in the way I like now.
However - are these two the same? I know it's every 10 years that I contact R. I hate that it seems to disrupt his life. I love that it disrupts his life. Despite his tone - I just can't let him go.
I don't want him anymore - but I love the feeling that I get when I talk to him. He's my link to being a teenager, and not so careful, and not so afraid. I love that feeling of freedom. I guess I just use him. That's OK - being used for a positive end doesn't hurt.
And I can't get the Stephen "Tin Tin" Duffy song out of my mind. It's kind of my theme song for now.
I'm restless. And I don't know when I'll get the relief I need.
Friday, May 16, 2008
It's Really Stuck
I cannot get these songs out of my head!
1. Kiss Me With Your Mouth - this one has been resonating for a few days. It's kinda like how I am - obsessive for a few days, and then normal again. There's just so much attached to the music I love.
2. I Wanna Be Adored - I have perfect memories for this song, and they were just reinforced by a conversation.
I think I'm really good right now, in a way that I haven't been for a while. Hopeful.
Of course, this will all change as I get closer to the bar.
You know, I've been reading stories about blogs as therapy. And yet, I still hold back from you. If I'm perfectly honest, I'll have to create another blog. We'll consider that another time.
1. Kiss Me With Your Mouth - this one has been resonating for a few days. It's kinda like how I am - obsessive for a few days, and then normal again. There's just so much attached to the music I love.
2. I Wanna Be Adored - I have perfect memories for this song, and they were just reinforced by a conversation.
I think I'm really good right now, in a way that I haven't been for a while. Hopeful.
Of course, this will all change as I get closer to the bar.
You know, I've been reading stories about blogs as therapy. And yet, I still hold back from you. If I'm perfectly honest, I'll have to create another blog. We'll consider that another time.
All Is Good
Tomorrow we find out if B. passed the bar. I think she did. I know it's hard for her to even consider the possibility. She asked me to be on the phone tomorrow when she finds out the results. I'm honored to be there with her.
I think she'll pass. I know she'll pass.
And we'll talk later.
I think she'll pass. I know she'll pass.
And we'll talk later.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Way Too Much
There's way too much going on in my head to figure out where it begins or ends. I got a couple of new adds on my MySpace - and I find myself wondering why I care. This whole mess started late last week, and I've had enough time to determine that there's a big part of me that cares far too much about other's opinions. Somehow, waiting for an add or a random email has taken a lot of my attention.
Don't I have enough to worry about, before I wonder about other's opinions? I'd think so! I wonder if maybe the reason I care so much is because it's a distraction. I've not felt so high school/college for years, and I still care.
And I spend so much time in my head thinking about occasions, problems, memories, and everything else that I wish I could get out. I wish I could not care. I'm working really hard to make this seem much more adult.
I don't feel that adult. I feel mostly lost. (I typed last, but changed it. Damn Freudian slip.)
Don't I have enough to worry about, before I wonder about other's opinions? I'd think so! I wonder if maybe the reason I care so much is because it's a distraction. I've not felt so high school/college for years, and I still care.
And I spend so much time in my head thinking about occasions, problems, memories, and everything else that I wish I could get out. I wish I could not care. I'm working really hard to make this seem much more adult.
I don't feel that adult. I feel mostly lost. (I typed last, but changed it. Damn Freudian slip.)
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Manners
So now I'm playing on this MySpace thing, and I haven't got the manners right yet. Seems like everyone I am linked with knows how it works, and it's frustrating to know that I don't. I guess I thought that when I was "added", I would be informed. Nope. I only find out when I look at my own page.
I don't know - I mean it's great to reconnect, but it still feels so distant. I find myself wondering about this. It feels kinda like, "I see you're alive!" but otherwise some kind of popularity contest.
We'll see. I'm sure I'll learn more, look back at this post, and laugh.
I don't know - I mean it's great to reconnect, but it still feels so distant. I find myself wondering about this. It feels kinda like, "I see you're alive!" but otherwise some kind of popularity contest.
We'll see. I'm sure I'll learn more, look back at this post, and laugh.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
My New Addiction
I mentioned that an old friend found me on MySpace. Since then. I've been looking and finding people I used to know, and would love to know again. Old friends, old rivals, old (I wish I could say) boyfriends, just everything.
Ain't this something?? I'm kinda overwhelmed with memory lane. And I'm learning how to be friends without baggage. At least, that's the plan. We'll see how it goes. But I bet that every time my computer breaks down, I'll desperately reboot to see if maybe I can make what I thought was gone reappear.
Is that what MySpace is? A chance to redeem? I don't know. I will work to be stronger. I will wonder. I will fake it until I make it. That might take forever.
Ain't this something?? I'm kinda overwhelmed with memory lane. And I'm learning how to be friends without baggage. At least, that's the plan. We'll see how it goes. But I bet that every time my computer breaks down, I'll desperately reboot to see if maybe I can make what I thought was gone reappear.
Is that what MySpace is? A chance to redeem? I don't know. I will work to be stronger. I will wonder. I will fake it until I make it. That might take forever.
Friday, May 9, 2008
The Morning News
No, not my commentary on the world's news, although I have a lot to say about that as well. This post will cover my morning news. Maybe later, at work, I'll write about the state of the planet as I see it. Which I'm sure will be dreadfully interesting for you guys.
So I've been worried sick over the health of my bank account. Last week was rent plus 3 other bills, so when I went to check my balance, it was a lovely goose egg. I've never actually seen zero as a balance before, and I'm not interested in seeing it again. So now I'll be frugal, because my cable bill came in, and I can live without some things, but cable, internet, and TiVo are not on that last.
I was checking my email this morning and I saw a friend request from MySpace. I do have a profile there, but I very rarely use MySpace because I can't figure the damn thing out. Here, I type in a password and then I type. There, I'm supposed to post lots of photos and update things. Really can't be bothered. Anyhoo, the request was from what I thought was a bogus request. We've all gotten those weird ones. So I looked, and it turned out to be my friend Ward, whom I knew in college. I've thought about him over the years, off and on, but despite wondering about him every time I drove past Cullman, I never really considered that I'd hear from him again. It was great to know he's around, and hopefully we'll keep in touch. He was always a favorite of mine.
Off to the salt mine. Woo-hoo. Today I think I'll study business associations and the UCC. I used to think that criminal procedure was interesting. It's not. It's tedious and could lend itself to a flow chart the size of a city block. Damn Constitution.
So I've been worried sick over the health of my bank account. Last week was rent plus 3 other bills, so when I went to check my balance, it was a lovely goose egg. I've never actually seen zero as a balance before, and I'm not interested in seeing it again. So now I'll be frugal, because my cable bill came in, and I can live without some things, but cable, internet, and TiVo are not on that last.
I was checking my email this morning and I saw a friend request from MySpace. I do have a profile there, but I very rarely use MySpace because I can't figure the damn thing out. Here, I type in a password and then I type. There, I'm supposed to post lots of photos and update things. Really can't be bothered. Anyhoo, the request was from what I thought was a bogus request. We've all gotten those weird ones. So I looked, and it turned out to be my friend Ward, whom I knew in college. I've thought about him over the years, off and on, but despite wondering about him every time I drove past Cullman, I never really considered that I'd hear from him again. It was great to know he's around, and hopefully we'll keep in touch. He was always a favorite of mine.
Off to the salt mine. Woo-hoo. Today I think I'll study business associations and the UCC. I used to think that criminal procedure was interesting. It's not. It's tedious and could lend itself to a flow chart the size of a city block. Damn Constitution.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Job (In)Security
I am endlessly paranoid about my job. I worry every time the others in my office talk behind closed doors. I worry when I do a little web surfing. I worry if I’m sitting still for too long. I worry because I know that I don’t have enough to do, and what I do have to do, I don’t like and I put it off as long as possible.
I worry because I’m overqualified and too quick at my work. I know I could easily do the work that needs to be done by working part time, maybe even only 20 hours a week. But I need the money. The only small comfort I have is that my boss likes knowing I’m here to answer to phones and run interference between her and her customers.
I wish I had more to do. I keep thinking with time, they’ll give me more. But I also worry that Charming is afraid to give me too much of his work. I wonder if he thinks that I’ll take this job from him. There’s really no way to reassure him of that. I don’t think I’d be good at his job, as it’s really detailed and requires a close eye, neither of which I have.
So here I sit, around 8 hours each day, worrying.
I worry because I’m overqualified and too quick at my work. I know I could easily do the work that needs to be done by working part time, maybe even only 20 hours a week. But I need the money. The only small comfort I have is that my boss likes knowing I’m here to answer to phones and run interference between her and her customers.
I wish I had more to do. I keep thinking with time, they’ll give me more. But I also worry that Charming is afraid to give me too much of his work. I wonder if he thinks that I’ll take this job from him. There’s really no way to reassure him of that. I don’t think I’d be good at his job, as it’s really detailed and requires a close eye, neither of which I have.
So here I sit, around 8 hours each day, worrying.
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