Yesterday, I watched an Oprah show about the gift of fear. The most interesting part of the show was when the author of the book, "The Gift of Fear", made this assertion: "Men, at their core, are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women, at their core, are afraid that men will kill them."
Needless to say, this caught me off guard. Could it be true? As a woman, I can agree with the female side of the comment. But I had to find out from men if the other side was true. I chatted with my friend M., who's been a male buddy of mine since, golly, like 2000. When I asked him, he said that the male part of the assertion was true, but he couldn't comment on the female part. That made me think, "Was this really true?"
I talked to my friend W. about this. She and I decided that we're not sure. Her job tonight is to ask her husband. The more men we can find who will weigh into this issue, the better. We also determined that there is a lot more going on in gender relations than we realized. Women can be very angry at men. Men can be very angry at women. The question is, "Why?"
So, for all the men who read this, please answer my question. Is it true that a man's core fear is that a woman will laugh at you? And women, is it true that your core fear is that a man will kill you?
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"The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'" - Freud "Memories and possibilities are ever more hideous than realities. " - H.P. Lovecraft "I love you only because it's you the one I love." - Pablo Neruda
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A Wolf at the Table - Augusten Burroughs
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
The Color Purple - Alice Walker
Little Earthquakes - Jennifer Weiner
A Wolf at the Table - Augusten Burroughs
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- Christine
- When I'm good, I'm really, really good. When I'm bad, I'm funny. PS - I always have a song in my head, and I'm willing to share, if only to escape the song. I'm trying to figure out how to describe myself. It really isn't that easy.
1 comment:
I've been thinking about this. I can't comment on the greatest fear that women have, but I do think it's accurate about the men.
Men, whether it is admitted or not, are generally driven by their egos. A woman laughing at a man, is the ultimate insult and the consummate humiliation. I suspect that men can react one of two ways, neither of which is healthy or good.
The first is that he would slink away humiliated.
The second is that he could become violent. I like to think that this one is extremely rare but it might not be. One thing that we have learned from domestic violent offenders is that their rage reaches a boiling point and does not 'cool off' until they commit an act of violence. It makes me wonder if, psychologically, something in their past has made them hate women because they believe that they have been berated by females at some point in their lives.
What I find interesting is that there truly are people who loathe members of the opposite sex. Many marry and co-exist, but there is a sense of hatred. It always makes me wonder what drives this.
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