What Are You Doing Here?

For some reason, it always weirds me out when I run into people in a different place from the area where I normally associate them. I’m sure you know the feeling as well; it’s like when you were in high school and you saw one of your teachers at the grocery store.

When I was younger, I never thought about those people having actual lives, families…homes, for that matter. But of course they did, as I did too. I would think by now that I would be over this strange, nerve-wracking feeling. But I’m not.

Two Novembers ago, after the 9-hour date, as you might remember, I ran into said date at an art fair. I didn’t know he’d be there and when I recognized him (I’ll admit to very bad eyesight on occasion), my pulse started racing and I could feel my heart beating into my chest. I smiled, got no response, and headed upstairs to meet my friend. On the landing between the flights of stairs, I ran into an old manager from Geeks-R-Us. Same visceral reaction. In fact, I probably didn’t notice so much because I still hadn’t calmed down from running into date. But when we exchanged pleasantries, I’m sure my voice was shaking and I didn’t make a lot of sense. Later that day, it turned out that whoever date was with had the space directly in front of my friend’s booth. Wonderful. I’ve probably shaved three weeks off my life because of that day. (And I’ll tell you, I totally made some snide comments. You expected better behavior? Read another blog. Date hurt my feelings and even more so my ego.)

Today I decided to give myself a rare treat (it’s been a long week. Sweet merciful Christmas, Friday, what took you so long?!?) of a Subway® sandwich. When I walked in, I saw another old manager from Geeks-R-Us. I’d not seen him since 2004. But I said hello, and we spoke briefly:

Him: What are you doing here?
Me: Getting lunch. What are you doing here? (You should know by now that I’m a smartass. But that’s a dumb question, people. What was I going to say? “Planning to rob the joint”?)

But as I walked away, my heart was pounding into my throat and my hands shook. (Not that that’s all that rare, but that’s a story for another time.) I just can’t figure out why I react the way I do. It’s almost like a guilt reflex. But what could possibly make me feel guilty? I’m not leading a double life, I haven’t done anything particularly naughty as of late…so what is it?