Girl, Tired

Yesterday morning - up at 6am to go to Birmingham to finish my MCLEs.  These are somehow different from CLEs.  MCLEs are mandatory, you see, and therefore VERY VERY IMPORTANT.  Do you think anyone would go to any continuing education class were it not mandatory?  Do you think anyone would go to twelve hours' worth?

I probably would if it were on a topic I liked or featured gory photos.  And I got to experience some of both yesterday, so it wasn't all bad.

Drove home around 3:30, and talked on the phone to Wade and Momma to finalize plans.  The plans were scrapped, but somehow I got to go get Momma's cat to watch while she's out of town.  As I got close enough to her house that I could no longer justify not going, I found out that said cat will be watched by Momma's friend.  At least, when I went by, I got to get my Christmas present from my sister (still haven't opened it!) and Wade's kids' gifts.

Once home, around 6:30 or so, I cleaned like a maniac (again) so the place would be just right for when the boy came over.

Yes, you read that right.  The boy came over.  And it was awesome.  And it was a bit surreal to see him in my place.

Got to bed around 2am, just in time to catch a little bit of sleep before 6am came again and I got up and went to work.

I am exhausted, I can't differentiate between my black eyeliner and the black bags under my eyes.  But I'm quite happy.  And with any luck, the boy will come over again tonight.  (And if I had my way, stay forever...)

I'm bound to get some sleep at some point, right?

Christmas-y, With Pictures!

A few weeks ago, Momma and I went to a Christmas party that one of her former coworkers throws each year.  Now, I know I've missed the past few years, what with my living in a different state and all, but this year was quite interesting.

The hosts lives in a gi-normous house; one that puts my folks' place to shame.  And my folks have almost 5000 square feet of living space.  (Please do not rob them.  I'll need those assets later.)  Also, the hosts' place is built into a steep slope, so when you go a party at their place, they recruit two family members to drive you up the driveway to the back door.  Seriously.  It's got to be at least a 40 percent slope.  (I know nothing about slopes or angles, but trust me, were it to ice, one step outside and you'd be thirty feet down before you knew it.)

The boy didn't believe me, so I took this picture:

This doesn't really show the slope, but isn't the place gorgeous from the outside?  Don't worry; we're going inside next...

The hosts decorate every single room with at least one Christmas tree.  This includes bathrooms, hallways, alcoves, built-in bookshelves, and each of the great rooms.  It's stunning.  Oh, and did I mention that each tree has its own theme?  No?  I should have.  Most are adorable and traditional.  The ones in the kids' rooms are more individualized.

The son is allowed to have the geekiest tree on earth.  Believe me, his tree sings, and I bet, late at night, the characters fight a true battle.

Yeah?  You don't have a Darth Vader ornament?  I bet you're jealous.  And we continue the geeky-McAwesome...

I am not as Awesome McGeeky as I wish I were, for I do not know the name of this character.  Still, I'll try on the next...

(I didn't know) Even I know this is from The Corpse Bride.  (Thanks, Mr. Williams!)

Onward...I went into the daughter's bedroom - believe me, when there's this many trees, no room is off limits.  Yet were I their children, I would have thrown a privacy fit that would have impressed the gods.  To no avail, but still.

Next year, if I don't have a tree like this, I refuse to celebrate Christmas...

And this is the picture using the flash.  Imagine how it'd look with real lighting...

Do you understand the glory?  A tree backlit with red and pink, and decorated with black ornaments?  YES PLEASE!

On the more traditional side, I thought you'd like a look at one of the "adult" trees.  Although it is gorgeous, please see the height differential between my camera angle and the floor.  I believe that in industry terms, this is called "20-foot ceilings".  I may be underestimating.

I mean, how awesome?  I was in the study/overhang over the main family room.  It was warm, there were comfortable couches, built-in bookshelves loaded with books, and a computer.  I damn near settled in, hoping they wouldn't notice for a few days.

One last picture from the party:  This wreath was on the door of the room with the most amazing red Christmas tree.

C'mon now, you know that's pretty.  And how do you clean those feathers each year?

It's a tradition in this town to go to Horseshoe Circle.  This little street is known for the outdoor decorations that so many houses do each year.  Those that don't are polite enough to keep their outdoor lights off.  And the annual visitors, the ones who come each year, know to turn off their headlights and leave only their running lights on.  If you're a new visitor here but you know this town, remember next year to turn off your headlights.  You've been warned.  I might tell your kids my infamous Christmas Monster story through your car window if you don't.  Ask Ryan.  He'll tell you the damage the Christmas Monster story can do.

Idle (HAH!) threats aside, here are the images I was able to gather.

It's over, and we're free!  Let's all plan for a fabulous New Year.  Remind me to tell you about my even-year theory.

Clearly, My Kind Of Christmas

The boy and I are in a fight.  He arrives tomorrow and all I can think is that I'm glad that I turned on the fireplace.  My intent was for us to have romantic evenings curled up near it.  Now I just want to cram his face into it.

On the plus side, I got a good recommendation at work, got a mani/pedi/wax, and am about to make cookies.

Why does drama always seem to happen near occasions?  Nothing can ever be simple.

Which is why I intend to focus on the good things - a roaring fire, fantastic friends, spoiling my family tomorrow, and having some time off from life to enjoy myself.

Plus, really - PRESENTS!  I do love presents.

The Songs

My folks asked me to make them CDs of their favorite songs for Christmas.  So I provide to you, my darlings, their lists.  I do this because it probably explains a lot about my love for overly dramatic music.

Dad

1. Honeycomb – Jimmie Rodgers

2. (Theme from) A Summer Place – Percy Faith

3. Unchained Melody – Righteous Brothers

4. Tennessee Waltz – Patti Page

5. Chances Are – Johnny Mathis

6. I Believe – Frankie Laine

7. Moon River – Andy Williams

8. Wichita Lineman – Glen Campbell

9. Standing On The Corner – Jimmie Rodgers

10. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes – The Platters

11. You Are So Beautiful – Joe Cocker



Momma

1. Three Times A Lady – The Commodores

2. Go Away Little Girl – Steve Lawrence

3. Oh Sherrie – Steve Perry

4. Party Doll – Buddy Knox

5. Too Shy – Kajagoogoo

6. Cum On Feel The Noize – Quiet Riot

7. Gone – Ferlin Huskey

8. Mr. Blue – The Fleetwoods

9. All Night Long – Lionel Richie

10. Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad – Meatloaf

11. Baby Don’t Get Hooked On Me – Mac Davis

12. Green Green Grass Of Home – Tom Jones

13. Sunday Morning Coming Down – Johnny Cash

14. Windy – The Association

15. My Life – Billy Joel

In Case I've Been Off My Game

Here's excerpts from an email exchange I had yesterday.  It pretty much sums up what's been going on in my life.

From: Christine
To: B
Sent: Thu, Dec 17, 2009 6:39 am
Subject: interesting....

My time spent with [redacted, but not the boy] is officially kaput, and I’m not nearly as upset about it as I thought I would be.

Love,
C

From: B
Sent: Thursday, December 17, 2009 11:14 AM
To: Christine
Subject: Re: interesting....

And you can't just drop a bombshell like that and not explain...you'll have to tell me what happened, if you regret sending him the Christmas card now (I hope you didn't send a present too!), etc. But I'm very glad you're over him. You know my sentiments on him. "So wave your little hand and whisper so long deary, deary, should've said 'so long' so long ago!" Just a little Hello Dolly! for your morning enjoyment.

Love you lots! Hope you're having a fabulous day. Call me if you get a chance. I miss you!

B

From: Christine
Sent: Thursday, December 17, 2009 11:50 AM
To: B
Subject: RE: interesting....

It’s been a long time coming, this end with [redacted, but not the boy]. But you know me, I can’t just let something go. I have to squeeze every little thing out of it first. But we’ve not been communicating for a while, and every time we did, it was because I initiated the call. Missed dates, no talking…could it be more clear? It’d been this way since I got back from Seattle. We last hung out on November 11, that Wednesday after I got back, and then nothing. He tried to blame it on his never-ending illnesses (seriously – he’s been sick for like 3 months now. If he were a horse, he’d be glue already.) and layoffs and transfers at work. And while these are legitimate reasons, if he really wanted to spend time with me, he would’ve found a way and the time.


But he’d been good for me, making me feel beautiful and intelligent and wanted, and that was really hard to give up. So I called him last night, and the conversation was OK, mostly about work politics and career goals. It got quiet toward the end, and I just had to know, so I asked him if he wanted to hang out this weekend, since it’s my last semi-free weekend until at least the new year. He got quiet, and I told him it was OK to say no, and although he didn’t directly say it, I just knew.

And it hurt. Oh, did it hurt last night. I wanted to alternately cry and get really angry with him. This morning I was tempted to text him to say, “Good luck, be well. Goodbye.” But I’ve not done that, because I think it’s a bit petty, and more honestly, because I don’t want to entirely close the door. But it really is closed now. It has to be, because I care about him too much and that gives him the capacity to hurt me over and over when I’m at home, wondering why the phone isn’t ringing. Yet I have to protect myself. And I’m worth much more than someone who can’t decide if he wants me but probably does.

No, I don’t regret sending the card. It was generic anyway. I’m pretty sure he received it (everyone else has) and didn’t even acknowledge it, although we discussed Christmas cards last night.

So goodbye, [redacted, but not the boy].

And there’s the long answer to your question!

I miss you too!


Love,
C

I would love to be honest about my life right now.  I want to tell you about my heartbreaks, about my concerns, about my issues.  I wish that someone else's pain didn't immediately become fodder for others.

But it does.  It does because people need to downgrade others to reinvent themselves.  Were there a way to breed this out of people, I would gladly be the first to be impregnated.

And if there's a way to write freely, please let me know how.

Well, Crumb

Today, as I was riding the elevator at work, it occurred to me that in just over three months, I'll be thirty-seven years old.  And that freaked me out.  I certainly don't feel that old.  How old does thirty-seven feel, anyway?  But it got me thinking about the nature of labels.

I can no longer, even at the younger, thirty-six age, be considered a young lady.  The only reason I get carded anymore is because it's store policy or someone thinks that by doing so, they'll get a bigger tip.  (JSYK:  Doesn't work anymore, but I'll still thank you.)  I guess that I am now a "woman".  Someone to be listened to, if only because the growing lines on my face belie my fervent belief that I am still a silly youngster.

It's not so bad, you know, that initial respect I get because I don't look so young.  But it's strange.  I like to think that I earned it because of my experience and education (and to an extent I did), but I know it's because I'm clearly not a fresh-faced twenty-something anymore.

And you know what else?  There's a peace in it.  For now, anyway.  No guarantees on my reaction when I reach forty.

Someone Swallowed A Thesaurus

Today I was chattering with the boy (like I do) and somehow, the word "stultifying" came out of my mouth.  I stopped, and told him, "Yeah, I went there.  I said 'stultifying'."  He said, "You used a big word the other day as well, do you remember which one?"

No.

No, I do not, as I have the kind of vocabulary that comes from reading voraciously (yup) since before I have any real memories.

Finally, he remembered.  "You said, 'hubris'". 

That's not a big word, is it?  I mean, I assume my big words are those that come from Yiddish more than anything, and I do know the difference between a hijab and a burka, and if you don't, go look it up right now.

No wonder my practicum supervisors told me that I spoke above the kids with which I was working.  I always thought that the difference was that the kids would just ask me what a word meant, while the adults would judge my phrasing.

I might just be right.

It's Cute and Strange

Today at work I officially met someone with whom I'd conversed a few times.  She asked my name, and I told her, "Christine".  She asked for my surname, which I gave.  She then said, "Are you the one who's been referenced in emails lately?"  I am, I told her, and explained that in my department, we're doing this as two people revewing the documents so later, people will know who I am and what I do.

Then I told her that I am an attorney.  Her eyes widened and she said, "Great!"

Impressions:

1.  It amazes me if people are ever impressed with my title.  It's really not that big of a deal, people.  It means I had some very fortunate opportunities and a debt level that would send most people in search of a strong rope.  It doesn't mean that I'm more intelligent or better at any job.  It just is what it is.

2.  It's probably a really good idea that I came into this position when I did, because clearly an attorney has been needed.

Snow

It's a rare happenstance that we get snow that actually sticks.  It flurries here more often than we admit, because if everyone knew how often it happened, we'd totally lose the wow factor.

I awoke Saturday and looked at the local news, and the chick doing the weather (I highly doubt she's a meteorologist) mentioned something about, "It'll be stopping soon".  I got up, looked out the window, saw the snow, and without even brushing my teeth or hair (fellas?) grabbed my cameras and went outside.

Here's Alabama snow.  I could mock, after spending a few years in Ohio and D.C., but why bother?  Snow is pretty no matter where, or how much, it falls.

I thought you'd all enjoy the irony of the pool, crisp and clear, next to the snow.  I surely did.

I love this picture, the play on sharp colors.  I wish I had photo paper, because if I did, I'd be making my own holiday greeting cards this year, using this.

Poor Circe.  She's really not had to handle this since I lived in D.C.  You'll note that the ground snow has already melted away.

Oh my word, was Biggs pissed about this little plan of mine.  I can't remember the last time I subjected him to snow - it was probably in 2006 or so - and he still nips at me.  I made him walk on my car twice.  The first time would've been perfect, but he jumped off Circe and smudged his prints so he had to do it again.  He now has a head cold and I feel quite guilty, but this is still a worth-it image.

The Photos

Hello all.  I'm reeling from a couple of pretty strong body bruises, and while I lick my wounds and recover, I thought you'd like to see some pictures from vacation.  No, nothing identifying, but still pretty.

I like the lights at the bottom - the cars racing by.

This is one of the views from the boy's living room.

This is Pine Street.

It was about to storm something fierce, a storm like you get here in Alabama, which is apparently quite rare in Seattle.

I got pictures of the snow we got yesterday and when I've sorted them out, I'll post those as well.

Pet Peeves

1. Touching the monitor.

2. Licking your fingers in order to separate pages.

3. Whistling.

4. Parking backwards in a parking space.

5. Feeling a need to comment on every little thing.

6. Sighing.