Because I love you guys, I'm going to relate a story that's more of a cautionary tale. Because I don't have her permission to use her name, I'm going to write this as if it happened between the boy and me. However, this is an absolutely true story, and following in the boy's footsteps carry dire consequences.
The place: SuperTarget
The players: Christine, the boy, 2 small children (ack! It hurts just to type that last part.)
Christine: [eying the Godlike desserts near the deli] "Omigod, that triple chocolate insta-death and/or cellulite-creating moist tasty cake looks fantastic!"
The Boy: "Are you sure you should have that? You haven't worked out in a while."
Christine: "Fuck you." [smacks the boy upside the head. Storms off. Hold for a beat of 1...2... and returns]
Christine: "You know, I've never called you fat. Your parents, your aunt - they're the ones who called you fat. Not me. Never me."
The Boy: "But you haven't been working out! It's true! I wasn't saying anything not true..." [voice fading at the end of the sentence]
If you're a girl reading this, you already know what's going to happen. If you're a guy, let me just lay this out for you - you are not getting laid for a while. Quite a while. Why, you might ask? I didn't do anything, I was just telling the truth, you may be thinking to yourself.
Here's why - in girl terms, them's fighting words. You had to know that even saying anything was a bad idea. You've surely dated enough to know that women will ask you, "Does this make me look fat?" You've had that conversation with your guy friends about how crazy women are, and how impossible it is to answer that question.
Also, guys, trying to repair the damage by pointing out the accuracy of your comment only makes it worse. You're already in trouble, and now you're trying to score 'right' points? Ain't gonna happen.
What the boy did wrong here was not apologize immediately, tell me how gorgeous I am, and thank me for giving him 2 small children.
Read and learn, guys. Your very sex life may depend upon it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment