Goodbye, Street Cred

For your amusement and my eternal shame, I will list for you the songs that appear on my WinAmp, without lying... (This does not mean I will listen to these songs, however. A girl's got her pride.)

1. One Night In Bangkok, Murray Head. And I love him more because he's brothers with Giles. What a talented family!

2. Girl U Want, Devo. Thank goodness! Feeling better about WinAmp's love for me.

3. A Wish Away, Wonder Stuff. Rollins hates them, but I did come of age in the early 90s, so what can I do? I remember learning about this song and band when I still lived in California, when 120 Minutes was required viewing. OK, so maybe not the early 90s, but the late 80s, but saying that makes me feel old.

4. Just Be A Man About It, Toni Braxton. This one requires a mood. Also, I totally went through a Toni Braxton phase, and this song was the beginning of the end. I liked the song, but I was moving on. (Skipped)

5. Gabba Gabba Hey, The Ramones. I'm really waiting for WinAmp to curse me and laugh at me. So far, so good.

6. Carondelet, Ruby. Not one of my favorites songs by Ruby, but I ripped the entire CD, so it's bound to show up sometime. (Skipped)

7. It's All Coming Back To Me Now, Celine Dion. Ah, yes, there's the pain. In the spirit of total honesty, given the right mood (and enough liquor), I still like it. (Not skipped, but turned the volume very low)

8. When Worlds Collide, Powerman 5000. Shut up, it was the 90s. Or the 00s? Can't remember. Also, I'm thanking my swiss cheese memory. Wanna bang heads with me? Neither do my upstairs neighbors, but I've put them through worse.

9. Simple Kind Of Life, No Doubt. I don't have a lot of memories associated with this song. It's also not a terrible song, nor a terrible band. I rate it a C+.

10. No Ordinary Love, Sade. Touche, WinAmp.

Thanks for listening.

Life In Limbo

I try not to complain too much on this little blog, but I guess I just need to get this out.

Since 2004, my life has been in limbo. Yeah, I got my J.D. and all that, but I haven't worked. Not anything more than a summer legal job. I miss having an income, and I miss the power that comes with that.

I miss being able to dream about buying myself things again. I miss using my credit cards. I haven't used my own credit since 2004! I used to be able to get myself presents and know that I could pay off the debt. I miss buying presents for my Momma. I miss being able to give gifts to friends and family.

I mean, I bought my own diamond earrings. I bought Momma a gorgeous pearl ring. Now I have to ask her for rent money.

I really hope I passed the bar. I hope that once I do, I can find a decent job. Because once I do, I'm going to buy myself a diamond ring.

This is just exhausting. Thanks for listening.

Lazy, And This Time I Really Stole It

A- My Accent:
Depends. In Cleveland, I sounded Southern, back in Alabama, I sound Northern. But just get me to say 'oil' and you'll know the truth.

B- Bra size:
Really? None-ya.

C- Chore I hate:
All.

D- Dad's name:
George.

E- Essential make-up:
Lipstick.

F- Favorite perfume:
St. John.

G- Gold or Silver?
Silver. Preferably, platinum. And diamonds.

H- Hometown:
I was born in Winfield, IL, but I don't really consider anywhere my hometown.

I- Insomnia:
Sweet Christmas!

J- Job Title:
That's just mean.

K- Kids:
No, thank you. The idea of being pregnant gives me night terrors, and no child deserves what I would do.

L- Living Arrangements
Just me and my Biggs.

M- Mom's Birthplace:
Alpena, MI.

N- Number of Sexual Partners
And again, we go with none-ya.

O- Overnight Hospital Stays
None - yet. Oh, wait, for my own health? None. For other people? An occasion or two.

P- Phobia(s):
Bugs, enclosed spaces.

Q- Quote:
That changes so often, there's no point in naming just one. Although "I heart cookies" is a perennial favorite.

R- Remembering:
That I need to take clothes out of Fluffy, and reload it, and add another load to Bubbles.

S- Siblings:
1 brother, 1 sister.

T- Two people I love:
The boy and my Momma.

U- Unnatural hair colors I've worn:
Purple, red, black, blonde...about the only one I've not been is blue.

V- Vegetables I refuse to eat:
Rutabaga, brussel sprouts, cooked cabbage.

W- Worst habit:
Never going to tell!

X- X-rays I've had:
My feet, as I broke my ankles about every 20 minutes as a child.

Y- Yummy foods I make:
Lasagna, grilled cheese, chili.

Z- Zoos I've visited:
I've been to many, but I generally disagree with the idea of zoos.

Music...Makes The People...Come Together...

For some reason, just about every boy I dated in the 90s and this decade were into indie rock. Indie rock in the sense of feedback and my bleeding ears. I was reminded of this while looking at a friend's Facebook page. He has listed, as one of the musicians he likes, The Melvins.

Man, I hate The Melvins. They are my kryptonite. For the record, I also hate Pavement, and many songs by The Pixies. Sue me.

I once got iced in at my then-boyfriend's house for like 3 or 4 days (only in Alabama can this happen) and staying with us were 2 of his good friends. All of whom loved indie rock. I thought I'd go insane. I did duck-walk to my car to get some of my own music, but the car was iced shut.

Later, to get my revenge on all this: Mariah Carey. She is the root of all evil for all those indie boys. But, the best part of this was, at least 2 changed their mind about her after I was done with them.

You're welcome, girls who now date/are married to those boys.

Endless Endings

I know that the terrible word is "closure". I know that it shouldn't matter once a relationship (dating or friends) is over. Yet, I can't seem to avoid trying to get a piece of that person. At one point, that person belonged to me. And in many of my relationships (regardless), the interaction ended badly, and I want to a) be able to get my peace, and b) hash it out.

Chances are, I will never get what I want. Yet I can't seem to not try for it anyhow, because of my endless need to be understood.

Case in point: I'm emailing back and forth with a guy I used to date. I don't want him anymore, any more than he wants me. But the end was kinda bad, and we both deserved what we got. Still, it's been a long time and I want to be OK with him again. I don't want to be actual "friends", but I do want to be friendly. It's hard because when I think about him, I go back into memory-land. I don't think I can get rid of the good memories of him.

Is this weird? Does anyone else do this? And to be honest, if this is weird, well, yeah. That's how I am.

A Quickie

Reason #117 why I adore my separated Work Husband:

Him: "Do you think Michael Phelps is hot?"

Me: "No, but he's got a great body."

Him: "Exactly. He's got a great body and a face to protect it."

Yeah, I Got Nothin'

I know I haven't written since Friday, which is rare for me, but I just can't think of anything to talk about. Who knew that over time, blogging takes work? I do have stories I could tell, but this little experiment is about me and not about my friends and family, so telling their stories really isn't fair. Plus, I spend a lot of time in my head, which means that many of my thoughts are about situations thst most likely won't happen. I do try to predict the future. Unfortunately, I don't pay a lot of mind to whether I'm right, so I don't have a batting average for you. Sometimes I think I should write stuff down, and then revisit. Yeah, that won't happen, any more than becoming a health food addict will.

So, now, my excitement is that NIN is playing in Nashville on Halloween. Last time I saw them was, jeez! Wade would know. We went to a double-header in Hotlanta: First night was The Cure, next night was NIN. It was an amazing weekend. Plus, gift bags! Remember, girl? I am absolutely thrilled to go, and I bet the show will be even better because of the holiday. I've just got to find a willing victim to go with me. I don't think this is (Separated) Work Husband's cup of tea (he loves him some techno and easy listening - yeah, I still "married" him). But I'm sure I can strongarm someone into going with me. Just like I can strongarm someone into seeing Rollins with me next month.

For "I Got Nothin'", this wasn't too bad, right?