I asked him to come home last night via text, and he said he was already settled and we really did need the break. He called a while ago and I asked him to just come home tonight, don't stay somewhere else. I don't think we can talk through what's going on with us with the distance between us.
He knows that he has to re-earn my respect and trust. I know that I have to fairly give him the opportunity to do so. We're going to try some reflective listening, where one person speaks and the other person answers back what the second party heard the first party say. We're also going to try "I" statements instead of hyperbolic blame statements.
I'm mostly to blame for those "You always" statements.
We'd love to get some couples counseling but we're not in a place where we can afford it right now. There's too many real-life problems that need tackling first. Maybe with insurance, assuming his job works out, we can get some help. In the meantime, we're going to look for some good self-help for couples books and give them a try. If you've got a recommendation, I'd love to know about it.
How long before my stomach unknots, do you think?
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