Selfishness

This morning I woke up to watch an episode of Law & Order intertwined with an episode of Dr. Phil.  (Yes, I really hate commercials.)  The L&O was about a family fighting over custody of a little girl and the Dr. Phil was about a family with generations of sexual abuse and the man who married into that family.

Yuck.

Anyway, the father and grandfather of the little girl on L&O conspired to poison the new husband of the mother of that child and put him in a coma.  The stepfather/husband of the woman who was not only sexually abused but had a son who was an abuser said, "I feel like I've been raped."

This got me thinking about selfishness, jealousy, ownership of another person.  I completely understand the ties that bind.  I love my Momma endlessly, I cannot imagine my life with GPOM in it, and I adore my friends.  But here's the thing:  No-one else loves them like I do, much like I do not love others like I love my nearest and dearest.  And I think that's OK.  No-one is supposed to have equal amounts of love for another.

(Bible aside:  I regard love your neighbors as regard and respect your neighbors, not love them in the modern sense.)

So how can dad and grandpa think that their love for their grand/daughter is more important than another man's life?  Particularly the life of a man who is loved by their ex-wife/daughter?  That to me is so selfish and cruel.  My love is not more important to yours in the grand scheme of things.

This being said, last night GPOM and I got to spend some time with Ward.  This is an annual treat (biannual if I'm lucky) and I was so excited to see him.  GPOM and Ward met last Christmas and got on pretty well, which makes me happy too.  But now...truth:  Ward and GPOM spent most of the evening discussing music that they both like (at GPOM's direction).  I felt ignored and it hurt my feelings.  I'm OK today, I think, but Ward's been my friend for years and I wanted the face-to-face time with MY friend.

So as always, it's a work in progress.  I want couple-friends.  But I want to keep my friends to myself sometimes.