A Short List

I was talking with Lucy's mother last week about blogging and how tricky it is to be really real on here.  At the same time, the blogs I like most are the ones who are a bit more open about their lives.  So, we'll try a little experiment, and I will tell you some things about me.

1.  Sunday morning I was lying in bed, watching a biography of Freddie Mercury.  Tonight, when Bohemian Rhapsody came on, I sat in the car and danced and sang off-key, loudly.  Hi, Freddie.  I still miss you.
2.  I worry that my bad habits are killing Biggs.  Even worse, I feel like watching him is a preview of my own decline.
3.  I want to propose to the boy, if only so I can pay one filing fee and get two of my names changed at once.  I'm more in a hurry to get rid of my first name, but why not save the money?
4.  I don't understand people who don't plan.  I can barely tolerate not knowing at least a little of what to expect.  There's so little in life I can control, is it so bad that I love my schedules?
5.  I really dig that Two Is Better Than One song.  At first it felt like a cheesy "our song", but I've since realized that the boy's and my relationship is no longer in the infatuation stage.  Thank goodness.  That was a lot of stress.  (But secretly I sometimes miss the romance and grand gestures.  OK, comparably grand gestures.)
6.  I'm so worried about money that I haven't slept through the night in months.  The last time I did was New Year's Eve, when the boy stayed with me.  I take sleeping pills to help now, and I still wake up around 3am.
7.  I am loyal to a fault, and it takes a whole lot of work to make me give someone up completely.  And yes, if you're wondering - I still think about you, too.
8.  I'm getting closer.  Closer to health, self-assurance, understanding, freedom.  This is electrifying and terrifying,
9.  It makes me sad when people tell me they don't like to read.  And more than sad, it's completely unfathomable to me.  How can you not like to read?  I can understand not wanting to read the sorts of "classics" forced upon you in high school and college (hell, you'll never catch me reading Dickens), but nothing at all?  Why?
10.  I hope I am able to stay mysterious enough to keep my relationship going long term.

11.  Enough people have told me that I could have done it.  So I wonder if I really should have been a stand-up comedianne.  When I'm on, people, I'm really on.