Halloween Movie Reviews

I'm generally not allowed to watch horror movies. This rule was created when I was in seventh grade or so and watched a special on Jack the Ripper and freaked out so badly I had to talk to my best friend until her mother got pissed. Later, it was reinforced when my ninth-grade goth friends and I thought it'd be a great idea to watch all the Halloween movies and then play hide-and-go-seek. In the dark. In a playground. Essentially, my friends have banned me from horror movies because I completely suspend my disbelief and buy in.

This weekend I was in the mood to watch horror movies. Luckily, this story has a happier ending, as these movies weren't enough to set off my fear settings. Yet. Writing about this pretty much ensures that I won't sleep tonight, so if I call you in fear, feel free to mock, but be kind when doing it, OK?

My friend and I first watched the Rob-Zombie-directed version of Halloween. Wow, was that not good. Michael Myers became a serial killer because he had a mean step-daddy? Anyway, my friend and I had a great time determining the reasons why each victim had to die. You know, a la Scream. I only had to cover my eyes twice because of the gore, which means it surely wasn't bloody enough. Best part? The use of Don't Fear The Reaper. Not because it was unexpected, but because of the placement of the song in the movie.

Next, we watched The Mist. Also not good. I did enjoy Marcia Gay Harden's performance though, and seriously, folks? The best part of the movie was the tentacles. My friend and I randomly yelled, "Tentacles!" whenever the mist was featured. This cannot be a good sign. My friend said it was a Lovecraft ripoff, and I'll have to take his word for it, as I have no read any Lovecraft. (Despite the quote of his I use at the top of this blog, I know.)

And that's what I did this weekend.