I Wonder When To Expect The Cease-And-Desist...

One of the other songs that's been playing endlessly through my head will be transcribed for you now. Apologies all around, but you know how I go through phases...

Strange Relationship - Prince

I guess you know me well
I don't like winter
But I seem to get a kick out of leaving you cold
Oh, what the hell, you always surrender
What's this strange relationship that we hold on to?

Baby I just can't stand to see you happy
More than that, I hate to see you sad
Honey if you left me I just might do something rash
What's this strange relationship?

I came and took your love
I took your body
I took the self-respect you ever had
I took you for a ride, and baby I'm sorry
The more you love me, sugar, the more it makes me mad

Chorus

Isn't it a shame this ain't the movies?
When you could be writing my every line
I'll take all the blame
Yo baby I'm sorry
But I didn't like the way you were
I had to make you mine

Chorus

Can't live with you
Can't live without you

Thank you, Alexis, for making me listen to Sign O' The Times every time I was in your car way back then. I still adore that album.

Old Phone Books

While listening to my messages, I went through one of my bookshelves. There, I found one of my old phone books. (Yes, I know, I can't believe I keep these things either. It's right up there with keeping Target bags, in case I might need them.) This one is one of my very oldest - it has entries from when I used to live in California (1983 - 1989). It also includes a lot of people from high school, college, and grad school.

(Aside - this is strange, because I also kept an index card filer with a lot of numbers as well, which I found about a month ago. These two were apparently kept at overlapping times, so either I lost one for a while, or the index card system was used for friends I wasn't sure would be a friend for a long time, and the actual book was for more permanent entries.)

It's strange to realize that I've known the boy long enough to now have 4 numbers for him. Two are from when he lived here, one's from Atlanta, and the other is the current number. I mean, I've known him since 1989 or 1990, but it caught me off guard to have tangible proof of this fact.

This isn't just about the boy, though. It's interesting because I can now see many permutations of friendships throughout the years. I've got updates from the many moves that my other friends have had as well.

Or perhaps I'm just feeling sentimental. Or old. Or both. It is a grey day outside; how else should I pass the time?

So I Didn't Use His Name...

But I sent the boy the below post. His response (after several hours)? "Merci, cher."

I'm thinking that he doesn't like my writing as much as I do. That's OK. It's not really a contest.

Still, I think he came out looking like the better person, don't you? And he should be glad I'm not working on the post I plan to write about back injuries.

I mean, really. Sheesh.

(I love you, baby)

Why I Love Him

Yesterday's conversation:

Him: What are you doing?
Me: Waiting for tennis and reading...ummm...celebrity gossip.
Him: Oh, God.
Me: Shut up! There's no shame in Perez Hilton!
Him: Oh, God.
Me: It occurred to me earlier that I haven't gossiped in a long time.
Him: What?
Me: I don't have a big circle of friends anymore, so I don't gossip like I did.
Him: Oh, God.
Me: I miss it. I'm afraid I'm losing my snark.
Him: Honey, that's like waiting for your arms to fall off. You will never lose it.
Me: That's about the sweetest thing you could have said to me.

My Most Recent Favorite

It's Matt Nathanson...

'Come On Get Higher"

I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathed out and I breathed in

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
Make you believe
And make you forget

So c'mon get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

(Chorus)

I miss the pull of your heart
I can taste the sparks on your tongue
I can see angels and devils and God when you
Come on, hold on

Hold on, hold on, hold on

Sing, "Sha la la, la la"

(Chorus)

It's all wrong
It's all wrong
It's all right

Everything works
Everything works in your arms

And in my endless need to be adored...yeah. Y'all should find this song; it's gorgeous.

Today Was Almost Like A Tuesday...

I woke up today not in a happy mood. Mind you, I rarely wake up in a good mood. I once slapped my Momma while I was asleep, because I don't like waking up. After that, she'd toss one of our cats on me to wake me, or shake the end of the bed. I still didn't wake up well, but at least I caused her no violence that way.

Anyhoo... I made her lunch, got her to her car, and went back to my couch to rest more. Today I had to do today what I avoided yesterday; going to her house to get more of her stuff. I held off until almost 3 before I got to her (former) house. I got her stuff, and luckily, dad was decent and not too (endlessly) clingy.

I went next to SuperTarget. I did our shopping, loaded up the car, and then tried to start to car. Nothing. It just clicked. It didn't even try to start. So I waited, and tried again, and then waited more, and tried again. Nada.

I called Momma to tell her she needed to come get me. She was not amused. In fact, she was so angry about it that she acted like I did this on purpose. After an hour (!!) she brought a friend to see if it was my battery. Of course it wasn't.

So my car got towed, and I was pissed because of her reaction, and she was pissed about the timing. (She'd had an endlessly bad day.) Still, we got everything home, and I brought in everything (including her), and then I ran to the office to play on the Interwebs, and to ignore her.

After about an hour, I was better, as was she. I got her fed and down to bed.

Best part of this day? The boy called. We'd had a lovely conversation last night, and it was so good to hear from him. It's amazing how calming he is for me. I hear his voice, and my cackles go away. Yes, it's cheesy, and yes, I'm lame. Still, can any of you women out there hear, "I love you...so much..." and not melt, especially from someone you adore? I thought not.

At least I'll get some sleep tonight.

I Think... (Because You Earned It)

- that I will not get a decent job until I've passed the bar.

- that my weird relationship with the boy is turning into friendship, and it's my fault.

- that music sometimes can fix my heart.

- that the judges on Top Model should actually judge, and not play the PC card.

- that I'm going to have to listen to endless messages from my father to my Momma on my machine.

- that I might be able to talk Momma into paying for a housekeeper here.

- that sleeping on the couch is hot, uncomfortable, and necessary.

- that I can't fix the fact that I'm jealous. And if that's the deal-breaker, well, it is what it is.