In two days, I will not only be on my way to seeing the boy but actually in his place. For this I am nervous to the point that I can't sleep (really. I'm working on about six hours for the weekend.) and in equal parts excited. We had a good talk last night about some things that have been worrying me (and aren't I always the one who worries? Honestly, even Biggs has mentioned it on occasion). I felt heard, he suggested solutions, and although I couldn't sleep, I could rest.
Last night's Lost finale was something else. I do think it could have ended at the two-hour mark (if only to save me from more tears) but I enjoyed the denouement. Speaking of tears, I must have cried three or four separate times. I am a sucker for a good love story. And don't you think the actors have improved over the years? Well, Michael Emerson and Terry O'Quinn are consumate actors, true, but the others have really developed. Or at least learned how to do the smize and the anti-smize. (Tyra, you're welcome.)
There's some hope on hand, professionally speaking, and if there's something professional that I need right now, it's hope. So please keep your fingers crossed that I won't have to play Worst Case Scenario: Moving Back In With The Folks anytime soon.
And wish the boy and I a fabulous time together.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
PM Asides
The AM asides are in the post below. I wasn’t sure how much I’d write, so creating a morning and afternoon version of this seemed prudent.
12:38pm: How come one person’s bad mood always takes precedence over another person’s good mood? There’s no particular story here. It just seems that gravitas matters more than frivolity, like the darker emotion is necessarily deeper. Does it have to be that way? Can the good cheer be more fundamental?
1:11pm: Just discovered that I can play Pac-Man on Google’s home page. I think we all know what I’ll be doing for the rest of the day.
1:35pm: Horrified to learn that I’ve been missing the French Open. Much cheered to learn that Alabama is the #12 most corrupt state in the country, according to the Daily Beast. That’s better than being #2 in the Crushing Free Speech Protection competition.
2:19pm: Just spent ten minutes explaining to my boss why I shouldn’t watch horror movies and how my cat can predict weather.
2:52pm: More food coma. Perhaps I should just give up eating? Glanced at a couple of pictures the boy has sent me recently. Smile at the flower shots.
2:58pm: Scary email from coworker. I hope she doesn’t make a mistake. The fear helps shake off the food coma.
3:26pm: More questions from another coworker with more seniority. Egads. I think they’re missing the forest for the trees.
3:49pm: Tootsie Rolls are addictive. My tummy hurts.
4:34pm: Every so often, I curse Robert Shapiro’s name for creating legalzoom. The desire to save money is ridiculous when it comes to legal affairs. Remember, you get what you pay for!
4:40pm: Just a quick game of Pac-Man. I’d forgotten how heavy-handed I am when I play video games. I was slamming the arrow keys just now.
4:56pm: Ow ow ow Tootsie Rolls. Why must you be so delicious?
5:00pm: Clean up desk. Use bathroom. Go home. Pet cat and post deep thoughts.
12:38pm: How come one person’s bad mood always takes precedence over another person’s good mood? There’s no particular story here. It just seems that gravitas matters more than frivolity, like the darker emotion is necessarily deeper. Does it have to be that way? Can the good cheer be more fundamental?
1:11pm: Just discovered that I can play Pac-Man on Google’s home page. I think we all know what I’ll be doing for the rest of the day.
1:35pm: Horrified to learn that I’ve been missing the French Open. Much cheered to learn that Alabama is the #12 most corrupt state in the country, according to the Daily Beast. That’s better than being #2 in the Crushing Free Speech Protection competition.
2:19pm: Just spent ten minutes explaining to my boss why I shouldn’t watch horror movies and how my cat can predict weather.
2:52pm: More food coma. Perhaps I should just give up eating? Glanced at a couple of pictures the boy has sent me recently. Smile at the flower shots.
2:58pm: Scary email from coworker. I hope she doesn’t make a mistake. The fear helps shake off the food coma.
3:26pm: More questions from another coworker with more seniority. Egads. I think they’re missing the forest for the trees.
3:49pm: Tootsie Rolls are addictive. My tummy hurts.
4:34pm: Every so often, I curse Robert Shapiro’s name for creating legalzoom. The desire to save money is ridiculous when it comes to legal affairs. Remember, you get what you pay for!
4:40pm: Just a quick game of Pac-Man. I’d forgotten how heavy-handed I am when I play video games. I was slamming the arrow keys just now.
4:56pm: Ow ow ow Tootsie Rolls. Why must you be so delicious?
5:00pm: Clean up desk. Use bathroom. Go home. Pet cat and post deep thoughts.
AM Asides
So it’s 8:37am CDT, and I’m going to update all day with what’s on my mind.
8:37am: I am glad to have made it to work when I did, as it’s now raining pretty hard and I don’t like (or own) umbrellas.
8:38am: I am reading a slate.com article on A Separate Peace. This is the book, which when taught to me in 10th grade, made me HATE looking for Deep Hidden Meaning in literature. This legacy carries over to Lost, which I watch only because I like the story, not because I’m trying to find a truth or an obscure philosophical reference.
9:17am: I’m fighting off unholy food coma, because I got myself a Chik-Fil-A biscuit and I got to bed late and awoke at 3am. Also, it’s grey with rain and the office is surprisingly quiet.
9:19am: Dear slate.com, can you please be more like nytimes.com, which only offers a “single page” option if there’s more than one page? Kthxbai.
9:30am: I’m reading the Wikipedia article on borderline personality disorder and suffering from a little medical student’s disease.
9:32am: Further down the article and feeling much better now. Does it seem to you as well that all psychiatric disorders are merely marks on a spectrum?
9:47: Dear HR/Marketing departments at work, Two things: First, having employees pay a little for the privilege of wearing jeans on a Friday is a fine tradition. Having employees pay approximately $180 over the course of a year to wear jeans ONE DAY during the year is either Machiavellianly brilliant, or just plain awful. Not sure which. Second, an employee appreciation day email that has prominently featured on the invite, NO EARLY ARRIVALS, just doesn’t sound very welcoming, now does it?
9:54am: “Natty” is an underused word, don’t you think?
10:12am: wsj.com welcomes my thoughtful comments. Can’t you hear Tim Gunn’s voice when you read that sentence?
10:30am: Reading atl.com article on studying for the LSAT. I’d forgotten about how much time it took to study for that test. Something about that time pales in relation to studying for the bar; however, it was not an insignificant amount of time. I lived with my mother when I took it and I’m now having flashbacks of, “Shouldn’t you be studying?”
11:14am: Break in the lunchroom. Just had a long conversation about the wonder that is reality TV. One of my coworkers has a picture of himself with Kynt & Vyxsin. I think I’m in love.
11:57am: Wondering if the boy would ever read all the texts in my phone. Wondering if I would ever read his. For the record, I would not read his.
12:00pm: Time for a new post.
8:37am: I am glad to have made it to work when I did, as it’s now raining pretty hard and I don’t like (or own) umbrellas.
8:38am: I am reading a slate.com article on A Separate Peace. This is the book, which when taught to me in 10th grade, made me HATE looking for Deep Hidden Meaning in literature. This legacy carries over to Lost, which I watch only because I like the story, not because I’m trying to find a truth or an obscure philosophical reference.
9:17am: I’m fighting off unholy food coma, because I got myself a Chik-Fil-A biscuit and I got to bed late and awoke at 3am. Also, it’s grey with rain and the office is surprisingly quiet.
9:19am: Dear slate.com, can you please be more like nytimes.com, which only offers a “single page” option if there’s more than one page? Kthxbai.
9:30am: I’m reading the Wikipedia article on borderline personality disorder and suffering from a little medical student’s disease.
9:32am: Further down the article and feeling much better now. Does it seem to you as well that all psychiatric disorders are merely marks on a spectrum?
9:47: Dear HR/Marketing departments at work, Two things: First, having employees pay a little for the privilege of wearing jeans on a Friday is a fine tradition. Having employees pay approximately $180 over the course of a year to wear jeans ONE DAY during the year is either Machiavellianly brilliant, or just plain awful. Not sure which. Second, an employee appreciation day email that has prominently featured on the invite, NO EARLY ARRIVALS, just doesn’t sound very welcoming, now does it?
9:54am: “Natty” is an underused word, don’t you think?
10:12am: wsj.com welcomes my thoughtful comments. Can’t you hear Tim Gunn’s voice when you read that sentence?
10:30am: Reading atl.com article on studying for the LSAT. I’d forgotten about how much time it took to study for that test. Something about that time pales in relation to studying for the bar; however, it was not an insignificant amount of time. I lived with my mother when I took it and I’m now having flashbacks of, “Shouldn’t you be studying?”
11:14am: Break in the lunchroom. Just had a long conversation about the wonder that is reality TV. One of my coworkers has a picture of himself with Kynt & Vyxsin. I think I’m in love.
11:57am: Wondering if the boy would ever read all the texts in my phone. Wondering if I would ever read his. For the record, I would not read his.
12:00pm: Time for a new post.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Just A Little Awww...
As I was leaving work today, it occured to me:
One week from today, when I wake up, it will be next to the man I love.
One week from today, when I wake up, it will be next to the man I love.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
I Blame Oprah
Tonight I watched the episode of Oprah that had Bret Michaels. One, he looked fantastic. I've heard of how bad his headaches are as he recovers, and I'm amazed that he managed through his segment.
Mostly, it inspired me to say: I love you, each and every one of you. The friends of mine who read this site and tolerate me are amazing. Those whom I write about and who don't read this - I completely get it. Occasionally there is a lot of my version of the truth here.
Bret is only 47! As much as I don't like to think of it, it'll happen to me as well. I will get older, and I will need my friends and viewers and everyone else whom I've ever influenced to know about me.
It's messy, my world. But I want every minute of it, every worry, every laugh, every desire and dream, every minute that you share with me.
Snark to resume soon.
Mostly, it inspired me to say: I love you, each and every one of you. The friends of mine who read this site and tolerate me are amazing. Those whom I write about and who don't read this - I completely get it. Occasionally there is a lot of my version of the truth here.
Bret is only 47! As much as I don't like to think of it, it'll happen to me as well. I will get older, and I will need my friends and viewers and everyone else whom I've ever influenced to know about me.
It's messy, my world. But I want every minute of it, every worry, every laugh, every desire and dream, every minute that you share with me.
Snark to resume soon.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Reaction
Because none of you comment on my blog (I understand, it's not like I'm ATL or Dooce), I will tell you about the comment I got from the last blog about my movie choices.
I stand by my choices, and I completely understand why I didn't choose any chick movies, of which I adore. C'mon, we have to be fair, and when the boy asked if I wanted to see SATC 2, I told him FREAKING ABSOLUTELY. Then I mentioned that I wouldn't drag him to see it with me because he really needs his man-parts.
Reaction: Good on you for asking for you want! It's true, I don't always show every little bit of my personality to the boy, if only because he is an ACTOOOOOR and needs endless attention. But he's learning, and last night I forced him to discuss the most recent SCOTUS rulings. Tee-hee! I make him talk about ideas without any reference points. Occasionally I am evil.
I stand by my choices, and I completely understand why I didn't choose any chick movies, of which I adore. C'mon, we have to be fair, and when the boy asked if I wanted to see SATC 2, I told him FREAKING ABSOLUTELY. Then I mentioned that I wouldn't drag him to see it with me because he really needs his man-parts.
Reaction: Good on you for asking for you want! It's true, I don't always show every little bit of my personality to the boy, if only because he is an ACTOOOOOR and needs endless attention. But he's learning, and last night I forced him to discuss the most recent SCOTUS rulings. Tee-hee! I make him talk about ideas without any reference points. Occasionally I am evil.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
I'm No Good At Horror
Today I went out with Date, and we went to the movies. Because I am an idiot, I decided that we should see the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street. I have no idea why I thought that would be a good idea, but I insisted. Our other option was Robin Hood. Given the reviews, I'd rather see the fear-inducing film. Plus, I'm trying to get over fear.
Yeah, that worked out well. I squealed like a little girl within the first five minutes of the film. I do not do well with horror movies. Years upon years ago, I called my best friend because I was scared of a Jack the Ripper biography.
I tried to overthink the movie, and I did OK, until I went to the bathroom after the movie. (What? You thought that my changing positions in the chair was because of fear?) The bathroom at the movie theatre was quite possibly the scariest after-horror-movie place ever. I really considered asking Date to stay in there with me.
I made it through and was fine until I got home tonight, watched the sun go down, and began to worry again.
I tried to overcome my fear and could not. I won't watch another horror film unless MST3K is attached.
Yeah, that worked out well. I squealed like a little girl within the first five minutes of the film. I do not do well with horror movies. Years upon years ago, I called my best friend because I was scared of a Jack the Ripper biography.
I tried to overthink the movie, and I did OK, until I went to the bathroom after the movie. (What? You thought that my changing positions in the chair was because of fear?) The bathroom at the movie theatre was quite possibly the scariest after-horror-movie place ever. I really considered asking Date to stay in there with me.
I made it through and was fine until I got home tonight, watched the sun go down, and began to worry again.
I tried to overcome my fear and could not. I won't watch another horror film unless MST3K is attached.
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