I Owe You One

I know I owe you news, so here's the highlights: I think I might be a cursed flyer, I made it back from DC safely (with a minimum of tears - I really do love that place, even when it's 97 degrees), and I have just arrived in Kentucky and am about to spend three days with Momma and her best friend, discussing important things.

And don't you wonder, like me, why the cheaper hotels have the free wifi and the quite-expensive ones charge $12.95 a day for it? I mean, isn't $300 a night enough to allow me access to the webs?

Sheesh. And plane stories to come.

Do Whatcha Gotta

Today while out and about, I decided to go visit D., a lady I used to work with. We became suprisingly fast friends after a period of thinking we had nothing in common. Ironic, ain't it? We moved from work friends to work-and-lunch friends to work-and-lunch-and phone call friends, but when I transferred departments, we didn't talk as much. You know how that works: it's easier to stay close when you're physically close to someone.

So I went to her cube (gawd, those things suck), she clocked out for lunch, and we caught up for an hour. She learned all about my trips to Seattle and Atlanta; I learned about office gossip (juicy!) and how this has been a tough few weeks for her.

The funniest thing is that she's driving to Baltimore tonight and I'm flying to DC tomorrow, and I'll bet you $1,000,000 that we won't meet up there. Too bad - that would be fun, but I bet our respective stories are going to be pretty good.

The important thing you should take away from this? I'M GOING TO DC TOMORROW AND I WILL CRY AS THE PLANE LANDS AT REAGAN BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE COMING HOME AND I AM SO EXCITED THAT I COULD SPILT IN TWO.

Also, I got a new purse.

Wimbledon!

It's my favorite tennis season ever this year. I love this sport, I love this Grand Slam tournament, I might kinda love Roger Federer (shhh...) and I love chattering my friends' heads off about how much I love all of this.

So, what I guess I'm saying is that I acknowledge and understand why my phone won't be ringing for the next two weeks. But I'm trying (Wade)! I'm trying to keep the blathering to less than ten minutes. Still, what can I do? As I type this, there is a match between relative newcomers Isner and Mahut that is in its fifth set and the score is 53-52.

Did you see those numbers? 53! 52!

This is because at Wimbledon there is no fifth-set tie break. They'll play it out. Remember last year's Federer (sigh...) v. Roddick epic battle? Same thing, although the points did not get nearly as high.

So while I intend to go to meetings while I'm in DC this weekend, there's a strong chance I'll be holed up in my hotel room, watching tennis. And when I'm in Kentucky next week, I'll be in another hotel room, watching tennis.

It's what I do.

Father's Day

This morning I dragged myself out of bed at 8am to go over to the folks'.  I think we all know what a sacrifice that was; my Sundays are generally sancrosect and devoted to the lazy.  But I did it, and when I got there, I made brunch for my dad.  Egg scrambler with red bell peppers, onions, and cheddar, and homemade diced fried potatoes (for some reason I can't think of what they're called).

Afterwards, Momma spoiled me with a trip to Sam's and Barnes and Noble.  Somebody's a lucky girl!  We discussed the potential move into Date's house, and she's much less freaked about the idea.

Honestly, given the option between Date's house and my folks' house, I think I made the more emotionally secure choice.

After, I showed Momma the glory of street view on Google maps, and then headed to Cita's birthday party.

Her mom had the most amazing Mexican spread, and soon after, Cita's little sister had the margaritas flowing.  I love her sister's bartending style; high on taste, low on alcohol.  Who wants to feel loaded at 3:30?  I had a great time visiting with Cita and her friends.  The most fun I had was with Cita's sister, who adores bad reality television as much as I do.  When the conversation moved around to Hoarders (quite possibly the best show on TV), I knew I would love her forever.  I even channeled the most recent Kathy Griffin special.

Getting my ill-gotten gains from Sam's into my house during the wall of heat and humidity kinda sucked, but I did it.  And now I am enjoying a tasty adult beverage and plotting my tomorrow.

Concrete Blonde - Atlanta

The concert was AMAZING. Over-the-top, leave-me-alone, can't-you-see-I'm-crying-to- I Don't Need A Hero-good.

I have loved this band since 1987, when I first heard God Is A Bullet on KROQ. I was 14, the world made no sense but was viscerally dangerous, and this voice of anger and reason came to me. I'm sure I didn't get the lyrics right, but there was so much righteous indignation when Johnette sang about being physically small but big enough to get a badge and a gun. Now, that was some truth to a girl who was trying to hide the hurt of not getting picked for drill team by becoming a goth.

When Concrete Blonde traveled down from Los Angeles to south Orange County, where I lived, I begged my mother over and over again to let me see them. She refused; she heard the rock-and-roll anger in the music and thought that I was too young to be exposed to such things. I seethed, but obeyed, in what is possibly one the dumber moves I made as a teenager.

So when the boy mentioned that the band was touring again to mark the twentieth anniversary of Bloodletting, I screamed like a little girl. We wanted to go together, but Concrete Blonde plays next week (I think) in Seattle. But they played Wednesday night in Atlanta. I waited twenty-three years to see this band.

It was worth it. Johnette is strong and powerful and her bass playing was fantastic. The band was tight; the venue was intimate enough. On the way there, Date and College Friend and I wondered aloud if we could just slip her requests. Turns out, there was no need. Here's the setlist:

Via:

1. Bloodletting
2. Joey
3. I Don’t Need A Hero
4. Days and Days
5. Lullabye
6. Scene of A Perfect Crime
7. Ghost of a Texas Ladies Man
8. Someday
9. Everybody Knows
10. Caroline
11. When I Was A Fool
12. God Is A Bullet
13. Run Run Run
14. Little Wing
15. Heal It Up
16. Your Haunted Head

First Encore
17. Mexican Moon
18. Happy Birthday
19. True
20. Tomorrow, Wendy

Second Encore
21. Still in Hollywood

She might as well have read my mind. The only other song I would have wanted to hear would have been Darkening Of The Light, but since that's a duet of Johnette and herself, I understand why she didn't play it. Besides, had she played it, College Friend and I would probably be in jail from crushing the other patrons in our need to get next to each other (it is our song).

I watched the show from about two-thirds of the way from the stage, as I am an old woman and I wanted to sit. College Friend went up front to dance with the other revelers, and Date moved back and forth between us to keep an eye on us. For me, this was perfect: the show was almost a religious experience for me, and I really wanted to be alone to absorb the music and remember the feelings and situations that Johnette so perfectly describes.

These pictures, then, are from Date's phone when he went up front.

I think this one is loaded backwards.  Johnette played from stage right.

Look at those legs!  I should be so lucky.

Each time Date went down to get closer, there were more people there.

So if you've not yet seen Concrete Blonde, go. I'm already regretting missing PiL.

A Tinge Better

As you might have noticed, it's been a tough couple of days as I try to readjust to my current reality and determine my next. Today was the first time in a long while that I was able to feel more like me, and for that, I most thoroughly thank Cita, who invited me out to lunch and treated me to fabulous steak and herself to fabulous shrimp.

That's the thing, isn't it? When you're fighting your own head, sometimes the only thing you need is to get out of the house for a while. Normally, as you know, I can flirt with a tree so long as it has a good sway, but leaving Seattle and the changes here have really made me - OK, let's be hones - annoying.

So remember to get good cards for your good friends for their birthdays.

I also had a conversation with someone who controls far more of my next few weeks than I ever intended to tell her. All morning, I really just wanted to tear a new hole into her. Instead, I decided to be a grown up (fucking grown-ups!) and figure this out.

We did, are on much better terms, and I managed not to say, "Bitch, don't get between me and my money." I should tell you, that's one of my many mantras. Although it generally doesn't involve the word bitch.

So things are on a more even keel, tomorrow I'm going to Atlanta to see Concrete Blonde, and after two days, imagine what I can do.

Resignation

One of the big bickers that the boy and I had while I was on vacation was about the status of our relationship. We've been together almost two years, and trying to figure everything out.

Just let me tell you - I started the fight. Let's be true; I have the ovaries and the desire to know and understand. He, however, is much more relaxed. He likes the way we are, where nothing is really true.

I don't.

I go by some rules, and I want us to be on the same page. We argued for days on days, and I think you'll like that I hollered at him.

We have yet to figure out what we're doing. I told him that I would hate for him to lose something really good because he was afraid - He told me that he was scared to define what we have. He then said that he's not sure - again! - and I pointed out that we've been doing this for damn near two years.

Turns out that he told one of his neighbors that I wasn't his girlfriend.

This hurts.

However, I'm not good at issuing ultimatives. Especially since I don't want us to be over. Not now, not ever. Still, exactly how much am I to endure?

Please wish us luck.

Better!

You know, it definitely helps when Cary Tennis is back and working. His words explain so much in a few phrases. He makes me remember that I am capable and maybe even amazing.

I know I've harrassed you about it previously, but you really should read his column on salon.com. If nothing else, you'll get a better read on me.

If you want to.

Quotes:

"No one prescription heals the infinite variety of emotional wounds."

"Meanwhile, though it sounds a little silly, thinking good thoughts about the one we resent, wishing them good fortune, blowing positive breath toward them, praying for them -- these odd and counterintuitive actions sometimes have surprising effects."

"We have never done enough. There is no such thing as enough. There is always more to do."

Indeed.

Truth - It's A Bit Scary

So I'm moving into Date's house. I have lost my job and safety net, and he's willing to help me. For the next month, I'll need to scrub and scrub and scrub, and not only the walls. I'l be selling off most of my furniture.

This hurts. I wish I didn't have to. I mean, Date and I get on quite well, but it's strange to get rid of the few things I've loved and the many more items I've been given.

Still, this is the way it goes when someone starts over, right?

I told the boy about it and he's OK with the move. Momma, however, is a bit more freaked out.

As am I. I cannot wait to get everything in order.

BACK!

I have so many stories to tell you. I can't do it all tonight, so please forgive the jumps in time. I had a lovely time in Seattle. I made some new friends, I explored areas I had never seen, and I loved more than anything that I knew the basic way to most places.

Ummmm...Seattle? Exactly how many mentally ill homeless people do you need on your bus system? I'm not judging; just curious. I think you folks might agree with me when I say it's a bit intimidating to have fellow passengers scream and holler about their demons when all you want is to get to the grocery store.

Limited highlights to come: I ate Vietnamese food for the first time. I ate salmon for the first time. The boy bought me flowers for the first time. I went to a super-sized Japanese grocery for the first time.

Oh, and we're so going to have a conversation with American Airlines for my outward journey. Sweet crackers, that was ridiculous.

Last: It's hard to be back and get used to not having someone near me to talk with. I'm getting rather lonely.