Sandra Bullock

Yesterday while waiting for my pedicure (jealous?) to dry, I read InStyle magazine. I generally don't like Sandra Bullock. I've never cared for her acting, and I didn't think she had an "actress" look. Lots of my guy friends have told me how pretty they think she is, and I never saw it.

But there was an interview with her, and a section where there was a reader-submitted Q&A. One of the questions was what you'd expect: "How do you stay in such good shape?" or something to that effect. Her answer was, "They pay us to stay this thin." People, I love that answer. It's honest and forthright, and I don't think I've ever heard an actor be so upfront about it. I could almost hear her saying, "I freaking hate working out like everyone else in America, but I do it because I have to."

Ms. Bullock, you now have a new fan.

Would You Stop Being Such A Good Influence Already?

And that title is dedicated to my boy, who's been working hard on reestablishing a good relationship with his parents. We've talked about this some; we've talked about the problems I have with my dad. You might have noticed if you're a recurrent reader that I only capitalize my Momma's name and never my dad's.

Today I had to go to my folks' place to get my new car tag and more importantly, spend time with Momma. I've not spent time with her since she moved out. Oh, and so you know, I had a great time with her and we're working on summer visiting plans and the like. All's well there.

She went for a nap, and left me with my dad. I ended up talking with him for a hour or so. I told him that I do love him and I know that he did his best, but that I've still got problems with him that I'm not quite ready to discuss. I had to be honest with him, what's the point otherwise?

For one of the first times, he seemed to understand, listen, and he did back off. We'll see how this goes. But it's an itsy-bitsy open door, and really, folks, that's something.

The Sun Shines

For the past week or so, I've been fighting a pretty big case of depression. Things have been so scary - I'm worried about Biggs, who can't seem to keep anything down lately, I'm worried about money, I'm worried about not working. Honestly, folks, I've had so much time in my head that it's making me a little crazy.

I feel badly for my friends. I cried to my boy on Tuesday and I've been kinda sullen and withdrawn with my other friends. If I haven't seemed that way to you, it's because I've been using an almost superheroic Herculean strength to fake cheer.

Today Wade called, and she let me worry on her shoulder for a while. We decided to look at some job postings together, and she found one for me in human resources. I initially thought that it wouldn't be a good fit for me, but after some more depressing wanderings that surround online job-posting listings, I finally decided to submit my resume. What could it hurt? Besides, I have to keep trying, even though each resume I submit makes the whole search seem that much more pointless.

I got an email response from the company's senior recruiting, asking if I specialized in employment law. No, I replied. Well, not like that. I actually wrote, "I studied a more general course of the law, which included familiarity with the principles of employment law, including negotiations, compliance with statutes, and contract law." She wrote back, asking for a phone interview.

So, everyone, keep your fingers crossed for me. I have the phone interview next Tuesday at 2. If you need me this weekend, I'll be researching employment law and employee relation issues. If you've got any tips, please comment. I really think this could be good.

Also, Wade, like I said on your answering machine, I do owe you an open-mouthed kiss for this. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Also, B., thank you again for helping me draft my responses and for your unwavering love and support.

My Weekend

You know, it wasn't too bad! Friday was quiet, which is the best way to enjoy a Friday. Saturday morning my sister called me around 9 (really?) to tell me that something was going on between my folks. 1) I cannot believe that I answered the phone that early; and 2) you think? Those two don't get along. My sister wanted me to go over to the folks' place to figure out what was going on. I didn't say no, exactly, but I did ask, "You want me to go to the vipers' nest?" I hope you all can recognize when I'm sarcastic by now. She told me that she'd call me back.

When she rang me back, not only did she wake me from what was promissing to be a perfectly lovely dream, she proved to me that she doesn't always get me. "Thanks for being willing to go over to the 'vipers' nest'."

Today was a bit more stressful, at least until around four, when I finally was able to plan out my attack for the week. There was some fun flirting, some bad food, and House. It was good to hear from Donovan again, now that he's back from vacation.

Apologies. This is a bad post.

Yet Another...Eh?

Had a fabulous day working with more high school kids (and judging them - shhhh). I just needed all y'all to see read this. The guy who talked about the open marriage (see about two posts ago) told me on the way out that he had a slipped disc which is due, apparently, to the vigorous sex life he and his wife had when they were younger.

I really need to ask, why do people tell me such things? Again, I managed not to giggle.

Me v. The Telemarketer

Every few months, I get hammered with calls from one particular telemarketing service. I can't report the company because I use AT&T, and it's calling on AT&T's behalf.

So after about a week of thrice-daily phone calls, I finally broke down and answered the phone. I was expecting that evil recording, asking me to call some 800 number. Instead, here's how it went down:

Me: Hello?

Tele: Well...can I speak to Christine? (Said in a snotty voice)

Me: Can I ask who's calling? (Matching tone)

Tele: This is (inaudible) calling from West on behalf of AT&T.

Me: I'm not changing my service, and please stop calling me.

*Click*

So I'm hoping that West will stop freaking calling me, because I can't take much more. AT&T, if you read this, I DO NOT want your DSL service. Not now, not in six months, not ever.

Update: Another call. I told her that I asked to receive no more calls. She said it'd take 30 days. I asked if, in that case, West could manage to call me only daily as opposed to three times a day. She apologized. Right...

What A Difference A Day Makes

In this past week, I've ridden the mega-emotional roller coaster (and have dragged y'all along with me, you poor saps). Now things are finally headed up.

While I was in Birmingham, one of the competition coordinators mentioned that the new guy for my district had recently received a new job offer and was moving to Virginia (delicious irony). Would I be interested in the job?

Ummm....YES. What a perfect fit for me. I get to travel around a lot, have fairly flexible hours, interact with teachers and students, coordinate the competition events, and even use some of my law training. My only question: "Will I still get to judge the competition?" The answer is no, I won't get to judge, but I will be allowed to coach the students. Hoo-RAY!

I got an email today from the coordinator telling me that she'd still like to talk with me, but is swamped with grant applications. However, would I be available from June 27-30 to travel to DC for the coordinator's conference, all expenses paid? Ummmm...YES. She also said that attendance is not contingent on my getting the job. (Sure.) I wrote back to say that I had travel plans for the middle of June, but that I could change those, and that I would love a chance to go back to DC.

About an hour later, I got a phone call from the previous coordinator, and he started telling me names of people I need to call and logistical arrangements I need to make. I stopped him, saying that it's best that I have confirmation of my position before we get too deep, but that I'd love to take him to lunch and pick his brain once I know the job is mine.

Best parts of this day:

- Having a 67-year-old man explain to me what an open marriage is. (I managed not to giggle, but barely.)
- Dancing about, with an almost sure knowledge that I've got a job.
- Dreaming of all the new things I can buy with my income. (Baby, what's your favorite color?)
- Realizing that even though I'd been naughty a week ago, I'm still getting a reward.
- Recognizing, once again, that people will tell me all sorts of things, most of which are a tinge inappropriate. Do I give good voice or something?

So keep your fingers crossed as tightly as mine are. Gainful employment is within my reach.

I Hope It's Hormones

It's been an up-and-down day. I stayed up late, talking with my boy. This is always a good thing. But I awoke early. I was trying to get a read on my life when my phone rang. It was Momma, which made me happy. No, I didn't get my annual Easter-chocolate hunt - weird, the first time ever since I was a little girl. But at least she called. I told her to get rid of my dad so I could come over and get the rest of the things at her house that belong to me.

Really, folks, it felt like separation.

Next, I lied back down to rest. I worried a lot about my relationship with my boy. I do that a lot, I know, but I just couldn't turn off my brain. Next, my phone rang again. My boy called me, if only to say, "I wanted to say good morning. And that I love you."

How does he know? How does he know exactly when I'm about to dive off a cliff? It really does amaze me.

But, honestly, tonight, folks, it's not a good night. It's a difficult night. There are things happening that I don't yet want to talk about, if only because I don't want a lecture on how things will improve. It doesn't feel like they will.

I will tell you the truth, but it will be closer to the end.

Was It Only One Day?

Yesterday I got up far earlier than I think it's ever fair to awake - 5:30am. OK, OK, honestly, I dragged my carcass out of the bed around 5:50. I had to go to Birmingham to school the youngsters about civics and Constitutional law. Needless to say, there was some light cursing as I stumbled into everything in my bathroom, including the garden tub. How can one miss a garden tub? you might ask yourself, and I will tell you how: 5:50AM, that's how.

Anyhoo, due to a tractor-trailer accident, I arrived about 15 minutes late, but jumped directly into schooling these high school seniors, who are about two weeks away from departing to the District to defend their research and opinions to attorneys and judges from all over the nation.

I had such a good time! I love talking to the kids, I love listening to their rationales, I love calling them on their B.S. when they write what they think people want to hear without even briefly considering the rationale behind their opinions. I've been offered a conversation about becoming the district coordinator for this state-wide group, and I'm considering taking it. (I hope it pays. Please, please let it pay. Have I mentioned that I'm short on cash lately?)

Afterwards, I went to visit some friends from college. We sat on their couches and on their back porch and just caught up - talking about people we knew and times we might not have remembered as accurately as our brains thought we did. I had made plans to catch up with others later, so as the hour approached, my friends got a HUGE kick out of me begging K. to come with. Without her, her husband wouldn't go, and I was so nervous to go without them.

Using my patented technique, I finally convinced K. & S. to join me, and off we went to meet our friends. Once there, we drank -tinis, talked, visited, gossiped, reminisced, and overall had a wonderful time together.

However, I will tell you this - as much fun as it is to revisit the past, it can be a bit strange to learn what others thought of you at that age. I've mostly forgiven myself my transgressions of my college years, yet it's still odd to hear about them again. So, for all involved in last night's shenanigans, how about a round of, "Yeah, well, it was what it was?" (This time I'm not buying though.)

This morning I sat on K. & S.'s deck and managed to get myself my first sunburn of the season. Overall, I'd say, quite a successful trip. But what a day!

PS - I got my Southern on. I managed to morph a friend's one-syllable name into an almost-three-syllable debacle. Yes, I caught the look you gave me when you heard it. I blame the cosmos.

Where I Discover That The Internet Is Awesome

Yes, I'm working hard, and in my pursuits, I came across this website. It promised me a free profile, and by god, it delivered. AWESOME.

Name: Christine
Date: 4/6/2009
Colorgenics Number: 12534670


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You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.

(Yeah, OK, I'm controlling, true...)

You are looking for excitement and stimulation and you are ready to try anything - but be careful not to take too many risks.

(I thought I was proceeding cautiously...)

You are a dreamer and you seek perfection in any relationship that you may establish. Some of your ideas and standards are over the top so it may be a good idea to review your perception of life and accept people for what they are - not for what you would like them to be.

(But people can be so much better if they'd just follow my few useful tips...)

It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realise that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited, but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.

(Yes, I am arrogant and conceited, but the rest of this analysis makes me think that this personality-analysis generator has never even met me...)

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.

(Something tells me that there will be prevention in my future...)

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See what I mean? AWESOME. Now you play! You play!

Crawling Out From Under

Apologies for the delays in posting. I've actually got about 2/3 of a post done that I most likely won't publish, one because it's no longer timely, and two because it's about my boy's business, and I really want to ensure as much as his privacy as possible. He didn't ask to be pulled into my writing silliness and it's not fair for me to decide to expose his life to you.

Plus, it really is ALL ABOUT ME.

I've spent a few days (OK, just over a week) feeling very insecure about everything. What will I do about work? I think I want to move. Soon. But to where? If I even mention the possibility of going to the northwest my boy has a mini-coronary. Not a good sign, for sure. So I agonize about our relationship as well. I think the distance is taking its toll on both of us, and we ebb and wane in our attachment to each other. Still, I worry, and I have a beer and call Wade and B. and try to find the right words to convey my concerns, which I haven't been too good at lately. So while things between my boy and me feel awkward lately, he still tells me that he loves me. There's a good chance that it's just me, but I'm also pretty hypersensitive to cues when it relates to him, so who knows?

But now, something fun: On Tuesday I'm going to Birmingham to do some final coaching for that We The People competition. I really do enjoy working with teenagers (not a euphemism) and I'm flattered that the powers that be for this competition think enough of me to ask me to help at this level. I mean, these are the kids who are going to compete nationally!

I invited an old friend and former college roommate to meet me for lunch, since I'll be done around 12:30 or 1. She said she couldn't leave work, but invited me to spend the night with her and her husband. Hell yeah! And then I grew a set and invited some old college friends (and an ex!) to meet me at my absolute favorite martini bar in 5 Points.

So, folks, if you're around the area on Tuesday around 6, come meet us at the Blue Monkey Lounge. I'll be the one trying to remain calm at seeing all these folks, and yes, playing with my hair, as usally.